Friday, December 24, 2010

I returned all the toys,
I threw away all the candy,
I recycled the ribbons
and called them quiet handy

(need a picture of some children tied and gagged with Christmas ribbon)

I was tired of the noise,
the cries for new toys,
the living room hip deep in
debris from the boys

the cute little girl in tutus galore
is using my coat to mop up the floor

my boots have been pooped on, blame the small pup
who was not brought out soon enough, after he supped

but the thing that really gets me, today of all days
was getting my car stuck in the driveway
and why this peeved me beyond all exception
is that i had requested it be shoveled
by the boys, no exemption!

but alas, they did not do any of the chores I required
to earn the dear the toys their hearts have desired

and when Christmas comes tomorrow, yipee!
they will run to their stocking, and what will they see?

nothing but socks, half a dozen pairs per kid
and the whining will start, and they will flip their lid
even though we warned them, and often had said
that kid who do no chores, get pairs of socks instead.

so unless your feet are ridiculously cold
you better shut, listen and so as you're told.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dear Elementary School Principal,

It was so nice of you to send us a certified letter reminding us that it is our job to try to keep our autistic 12 year old going to school everyday.

Apparently you have not talked with his teachers, para or advisers yet as to the efforts we have gone through in dragging him to school kicking and screaming, or to the joy we have at home when we can't even get him through the door and then he spends all day screaming while hiding underneath the kitchen table.

As we do tend to the parental duties of feeding and caring for our 12 year old, he is now officially bigger then most adults, weighing in at 175 pounds and is 5'8" in height, and because we have no desire of becoming physically incapacitated, we have therefore given up the tactic that we have used for years to get him into your school of picking him up and carrying him while he is throwing his tantrum.

We have, of course, tried the traditional bribing of our son with toys, gifts, cash or video game time to get him to be willing to attend school. When we find something that peaks his interest enough he does consent to go until it is time for him to leave then house. At that point he takes on the same look as a deer in the headlights and clings to anything he can so that he can not be made to vacate our premises.

Yes, we would be thrilled to work with you and your school team to get him out of our house everyday. My ears, toddler and puppy would be ever so grateful. In that regard I have been requesting appointent times with the school psychologist, and autism specialist, along with his normal team of teachers, and specialists.

You are more then welcome to join our meetings and look forward to any constructive advice you may have.

Have a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. As to us here we will focus on getting through the changes in schedules with as few tantrums as possible.

Tired Mom

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

snarky comments ahead

This story was emailed me today. My comments are in red.

A Christmas Story
Christmas time always seems to have its share of hustle and bustle. Between the shopping got that done early via internet, kept it simple, parties yeah, enough of those, extra cooking, not really, as I basically cook everything from scratch anyways cleaning and decorating I gave up on this category the year my children stomped all the Christmas ornaments in November, there doesn't seem to be enough time for the really important things that should accompany the holidays uh make time for it. Last year was especially hectic. I was working part_time in addition to being a mommy of five children sounds normal. I was serving in the Young Women's Presidency and had a lot of responsibilities there. My husband had gone back to school to further his degree yup we are there too, so money was really tight when isn't it?. Our five children were in need of a lot of things that year, but of course, their Christmas "wish lists" weren’t full of necessities. They were full of wants nobody wants mittens or a sweater unless they have gone without. I was really struggling with how I was going to make THIS Christmas "as good" as previous years obviously she has never had an autistic child to completely ruins her holidays. We focus on surviving the changes in schedules. In other words, how was I going to fulfill all of their Christmas wishes don't even try, bake homemade gifts for all the neighbors and fami1y this year I am passing out unbaked mixes, and make sure my home looked like it was taken out of Martha Stewart's magazine? hum, let's revisited stomped ornaments and broken Christmas trees and ripped up presents, pretty is just not a priority around here. I just wasn't sure if I could do it all this year. I'm not sure if I can do it all with out most of the things on your list. In other words I would feel a complete disconnect with you right now and stop reading, but I'm having to much fun being snarky because I am ornery at the stubbornness of the men and young men in my life right now so I will continue to add my comments to what is set up to otherwise be a touching story.

I said as much to my visiting Teachers when they came for their visit early in December. I had almost canceled our appointment that morning, thinking that it was just "one more thing" to fit into my busy day. It was a relief, however, to be able to share my frustrations with them, to know that I wasn't alone. We visited, and they shared a wonderful message about the Savior. It was the little boost I needed for the day. I needed something more to sustain me through the rest of the holidays, however. As these dear, faithful friends were leaving, Carolyn gave me a small gift. She told me that I couldn't open it until Christmas day, so I put it under the tree. It looked a little bit lonely there, as I hadn't had time to wrap any other gifts yet. Wow it stayed there and wasn't destroyed instantly?
Sundays and church were always uplifting, that's because you are not stuck in nursery alone repeating the same lesson for the third time but through the week those feelings of peace would quickly dissipate as the stress of the season came back. On the thirteenth day of December, however, we received a surprise. After dinner, there was a little knock on the door. When my daughter, Stephanie, went to answer the door, there was no one there. A few minutes later, the same thing happened. This time my son James opened the door. His eyes must have been a little sharper, though, because he found the little gift wrapped in white tissue paper lying on the doorstep. Taped to the simple package was a note that read, "To the Dawsons on the First Day of Christmas." My children were delighted. We had done the 12 days of Christmas for other families before, but we had never been the recipient of the fun. James quickly opened the package and out tumbled a little sheep. It was only a few inches high, but we gave it an important place on our mantle. baaa
The next night, a little shepherd boy appeared wrapped up on our doorstep, followed by the three wise men the following three nights. We quickly understood that this was a Nativity set that we were being given. Every night, my family would gather around to see which of the Nativity figurines we would receive and add to our mantle. James and his two younger brothers would stand guard at the window every evening trying to "catch" the culprits, but they never did. The days ticked down to Christmas Eve and we had received every figure for our Nativity set except for the little baby Jesus. As we shared our evening together, reading the story of the Savior’s birth from the scriptures and singing hymns I wish my kids would sing, they would rather hide under the kitchen table and Christmas carols, the anticipation of the imminent arrival of the baby Jesus grew. We couldn't wait for him to come.
Somehow, that small reminder we had received every day on our doorstep helped to turn our hearts around to the real meaning of Christmas. I had noticed the children had been kinder to each other and had been more willing to help out without so much grumbling and complaining. And now, there was no talk of what Santa was going to bring we gave up on santa years ago. The talk was "Where was Jesus?" James checked the doorstep every few minutes, but nothing. It was getting late, almost time for bed, and Jesus still wasn't there. Finally, bedtime could wait no longer, and my husband and I tried to explain to the children that perhaps the family who had been delivering the gifts had gone out of town for Christmas or was busy with their own family. That didn't seem to pacify the children. As I tucked my 3 year old daughter into bed, with tears in her eyes she said, "We can't have Christmas without Jesus." I had to fight back my own tears as I kissed her goodnight and wished her a Merry Christmas.
The next morning was chaos, of course, with everyone opening their gifts and showing what they had received. As the gift giving died down, I went into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Stephanie called me back in with "Mom, there's another gift for you." I went back to the tree and found the little gift from my visiting teacher. I had completely forgotten about it as it had been pushed to the very back of the tree as more and more presents were added. I opened the gift and just stared. There, wrapped in a little note, was the little figure of baby Jesus. The note said, "I was here all the time."
No other gift I received that year meant more to me than the anticipation my family and I felt every evening as we waited for Jesus to arrive, and then the peace we received realizing that He was always there with or without all the other Christmas chaos.

world's hardest career

No doubt about it. The hardest career any woman has ever embarked upon is that of motherhood.

It's a career that not only keeps you up at night thinking about it, but then also gets you up a night to change a wet bed and diaper.

It's a career whose office hours are relentless and whose prep work demands every spare second.

It's a career in what daily success is found in feeding, clothing and caring for those who do not want to eat what you made, or wear what is necessary to be warm, or cared for in any loving manor except when you are on the phone or on the toilet, or maybe if you are truly lucky, taking a hot bath.

It's a career in whose efforts often go un-noticed or are completely undervalued. But yet is so desperately needed that "time off" consists of changing 1 necessary activity for another. Like sitting down and reading bed time stories rather then changing yet another load of laundry.

OSHA has no say in the working conditions. It can be too loud, and no one has to offer ear plug. It can be unsanitary and yet the biohazard suits are unavailable. There aer routinly things to trip on in the walkways, and when ever those are picked up there are slick spots of spilled juice or milk.

and since the house is quiet, and the Christmas cookies are out of the oven, I am going back to take a nap, since I changed a bed and a child at 4 am, and went potty at least 5 times while I was supposed to have been sleeping.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

girly movies

I have to admit that having a little girl is forcing me to take a whole new look at the "girly" movies. for the first time in this house we are actually putting the movies with female heroines instead of the action packed boys' movies.

I do like the change of not having to have constant action, but then I look at what kind of a role model these female heroines are portraying and some of them make me shudder.

The Little Mermaid tops my list of shudder producing. As a young teenage girl, I thought it was the perfect fairy tale, but as an adult ***shudder****. In that movie Ariel is a spoiled teenager who has some unrealistic dreams, not based at all on knowledge, and she puts her father's kingdom at risk to achieve her dreams. And in the end she gets what she wanted for no other reason then her father couldn''t stop spoiling her. Ariel is sweet and innocent, but offers no moral behaviors to emulate.

I find this same quandary with Jazmin in Aladdin and Sleeping Beauty, more spoiled princesses gets what they want, in return for almost nothing.

I do not mind Mulan, as she is out to save her father and family honor and ends up saving all of China, and she doesn't act like a spoiled brat. Belle in Beauty and the Beast isn't too bad either, she has dreams, but is obviously well read, and saving her father is what introduces her to her future love.

My favorite "girly" movies though are some of the older classics. Cinderella is a lovely role model. She works hard, is modest, and only puts herself forward with the pushing of her fairy God mother. I also like Snow White, she is helpful and sweet and tolerates all challenges put upon her.

I haven't watched the 2 latest fairy tales put out by Disney. I have no idea what they portray the heroine as, but you can bet it will be linked to how often I let them get watched around here.