I returned all the toys, 

I threw away all the candy, 

I recycled the ribbons and called them quiet handy (need a picture of some children tied and gagged with Christmas ribbon) 

I was tired of the noise, 

the cries for new toys, 

the living room hip deep in debris from the boys 

the cute little girl in tutus galore is using my coat to mop up the floor 

 my boots have been pooped on, 

blame the small pup who was not brought out soon enough after he supped .

But the thing that really gets me, today of all days 

was getting my car stuck in the driveway 

and why this peeved me beyond all exception 

is that I had requested it be shoveled by the boys, no exemption! 

But alas, they did not do any of the chores I required 

to earn the dear the toys their hearts have desired 

 and when Christmas comes tomorrow, yipee! 

they will run to their stocking, and what will they see? 

 nothing but socks, half a dozen pairs per kid 

and the whining will start, and they will flip their lid 

even though we warned them, and often had said 

that kid who do no chores, get pairs of socks instead. 

 so unless your feet are ridiculously cold 

you better shut, listen and so as you're told.