Hiring the Gaps

  

Those of us who are the most capable in the workplace are often the most capable caregivers, when demands collide we have to place priorities on those we love the most. The problem is caregiving can leave gaps of years in our resume and make us feel out of touch with the business world. New York Time’s Clair Cane Miller pointed out on February 4, 2021 that we should not penalize people for care giving. In her article, Working Moms Are Struggling. Here’s What Would Help. What government, employers and the rest of us can do, she says “hiring managers should not discard résumés with pandemic-era gaps, and consider rehiring the employees who left for caregiving reasons.” This empathy for caregivers during the pandemic should be extended to all who are caregivers, in whatever circumstances they have been in.

Whether it is motherhood or elderly care, caregiving builds many soft skills that are important to becoming good leaders and effective employees. In 2019, Berline Cameron did a study on Motherhood and Leadership, aptly titled Reframing Motherhood . They found “that 75% of mothers believe that parenting has made them better leaders.” Jennifer DaSilva, the president of Berline Cameron commented on this study by explaining   

The skills that you develop as a parent — empathy, multitasking, flexibility, understanding, time management, communication skills, staying calm under pressure, and many more — are all skills needed for being successful in the workplace. It’s no wonder, then, that even non-parents who worked with managers who were parents found them to be better in all of these areas.

Due to the soft skills learned in caretaking, our company has a policy of hiring farmers and teachers because they have learned through the constant caretaking of children, animals and/or crops the skills of hard work, adaptability, and leading others. It is fun to watch Molissa, a cow farmer, who works in sales and fulfillment, handle communications snafus with  particularly dense salesmen we have. She takes no guff as she pulls that stubborn bull into line.

Yet about one third of the workforce have left to give care at home. “Overall,” writes Joyce Famakinwa at Home Health Care News in August of 2019, (pre-pandemic) said “researchers found that 73% of the employees surveyed had some form of current caregiving responsibility. About 32% of employees reported voluntarily leaving a job due to caregiving responsibilities.” Shelley Zalis, in her 2019  article for Forbes, The Power Of Caregiving In The Workplace No One Talks About, says “The best leaders today are caregivers, and yet we’re losing our best leaders to caregiving.” So how do we help our leaders to stay?

In the tight labor market this question seems to be on every HR person’s mind. Forbes had a panel discussion on this very topic. An article dated July 26, 2021, named Nine Ways For Organizations To Better Support Working Parents first mentions the big ways “major steps like setting up a breastfeeding area and offering daycare during working hours” which are often out of reach for small employers, but then gives several “little ways” to support working caregivers. This list includes: flexibility, autonomy, letting employees account for their own time, extended maternity leave, giving parents time off for children’s activities, allowing them to bring kids to work, and ultimately a focus on results. It is interesting to note that every one of these is practiced by my company, not just for parents, but for all employees. When I started back to work, I did have a baby in tow. I was allowed office space where she could hang with me all day without disturbing or being disturbed by the noises in the shop. The breaks from what I was focusing on to nurse or play with her served as a cognitive reset, allowing me space to think about what I was doing and accomplish the tasks clearer and easier when I returned to them. 

Whenever another interesting job would cross my feed it was easy to stay loyal because of the incredible flexibility and autonomy my employers allow. Sharon Rusinowitz at Chart Hop in September of 2022 offers 4 Ways to Support Working Parents beyond parental leave policies.  She explains it is all about the work-life balance and points out that “According to a study by Catalyst and CNBC, 64% of working parents are considering changing careers for a better work-life balance to meet their new priorities and schedules.”  Rusinowitz discusses the same ideas of flexibility, autonomy, and the focus on results rather than seat time that were brought up in the Forbe’s Panel, and says businesses should be 

Creating a culture of flexibility. Cultivate a culture of trust, where parents can leave if needed, with no shame attached. In a results-oriented company, leaders trust employees to meet deadlines, whether that happens at 10am or 10pm.

These policies can be applied equally to caregivers and non-caregivers with minimal costs and high increase in worker satisfaction. 

Another awesome idea to hold on to and attract caregivers is suggested by Zalis. “Rewrite job descriptions to include caregiving qualities. . . such as being nurturing, collaborative, empathetic.” Zalis explains why this will help women to apply; “research finds that men apply for a job when they meet just 60% of the qualifications, but women don’t apply unless they meet 100% of them.” She then says “Imagine how many women would feel more qualified if we rewrote job descriptions to include caregiving qualities.” When job descriptions are written to include skills we have honed in caregiving, we are way more likely to include the caregiving on our resume and fill in the gaps, but even if the gaps are left in the resume, it could be a sign of something good.  

 

 

Works Cited

 

Brower, Tracy. “Working Parents Need Better Support: 3 Ways to Build the Best Support Systems.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 11 July 2022, https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2022/07/10/working-parents-need-better-support-3-ways-to-build-the-best-support-systems/?sh=3acea35f75ea

 

Famakinwa, Joyce. “32% Of Employees Quit Jobs to Provide Informal Care at Home.” Home Health Care News, 7 Aug. 2019, https://homehealthcarenews.com/2019/08/32-of-employees-quit-jobs-to-provide-informal-care-at-home/#:~:text=About%2032%25%20of%20employees%20reported,job%20due%20to%20caregiving%20responsibilities

 

Miller, Claire Cain. “Working Moms Are Struggling. Here's What Would Help.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 Feb. 2021, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/04/parenting/government-employer-support-moms.html

 

Rusinowitz, Sharon. “4 Ways to Support Working Parents (beyond Parental Leave).” ChartHop, 23 Sept. 2022, https://www.charthop.com/resources/blog/employee-experience/how-to-support-parents-at-work/

 

Zalis, Shelley. “The Power of Caregiving in the Workplace No One Talks About.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 14 May 2019, https://www.forbes.com/sites/shelleyzalis/2019/05/14/the-power-of-caregiving-in-the-workplace-no-one-talks-about/?sh=67cdbd1047c8

Daughter of Zion-Two Thousand Twenties

 Will I sit back and laugh when the world burns?

tired of sadly shaking my head

   hide my face from the heat

    singe the hairs of my hands?

or turning and walking away?

run

tired of the heat

   petty games of blame

   finger pointing

am I carrying the buckets all alone?

 one spot of green left

wet my plants

  wet my pants

Sitting on the curb, 

ash falls around

I long for the cold shower

the fuller's soap

To stand clean from the filth of this time

filth of the times that have brought us to this

too many have sold themselves

turned  natural beauty into plastic

earth and soul

to be redeemed 

 a power

 I, alone, do not possess

Soul

stardust that formed the earth

elements recycled many times

into me they formed

flesh, bacteria, a colony of one

yet in and through everything in ages past

part of everything now

I breathe plant exhaust

they breathe mine

elemental as I am, 

flesh

     and bone 

              and blood

My spirit soars

for it of the skies

boundless and eternal

 So as a Mom of 9, I do laundry 6 days a week. 

As l sort through each piece of clothes as l throw them from the dryer to the children's baskets anything ripped or too stained gets tossed n the rag pile. That is until my mother started buying my kids the newest denim styles. You know the new jeans that come prestained and pre-ripped? And l want to as my mom "You paid $90 for the things l am tossing out n my rag bag?"

Yeah, now l have to remember which ones were ripped on purpose and which ones were ripped by actual wear. 

Then l got smart and started passing down their worn-out jeans by bringing them home in a shopping bag and telling the kids that l just got them new clothes.

My laundry room is right off my living room And there is some magic curtain around that laundry room that every time l step into it l disappear. For most of 20 years, l have spent hours a day doing laundry you'd think the ds would realize that is probably where I hang out. I must enjoy sorting socks. But no, they always ask when walking into the living room "Where's mom" and I'm like "Dude I'm right here" but they can never see me.

It goes with my theory that moms become completely invisible when doing chores. No one ever seems to see a mom clean anything. You be like "didn't you all just see me spending all day cleaning that kitchen?" and they all shake their heads no that way they can deny your next statement. "if l can spend all day cleaning that kitchen then you can at least wash your dish."

Its Intense

 My brother got divorced a few years ago, his wife and children moved a few towns away and he sees them several times a month, meanwhile, he has taken to traveling on the weekend with friends and hiking mountains in places like Alaska or doing a little trip in the boundary waters, meanwhile my husband and I have  9 kids, ranging from here (knee high) to here (as high as my hands can stretch) and the only way we can afford vacation is by loading up our big van and camping.

So I told him yesterday, that we were into extreme sports, and he got all interested. Yeah, I said. We go camping with 9 kids, it's in tents. 

Like when you take 9 kids away from their technology for a week and stick them in the wilderness (often there no cell service) there are going to be some meltdowns. But luckily they each take turns. One time when my oldest was freaking out, he refused to go on a hike and we when got back, written in sticks on the picnic table were the words "Take me home, now!" a few hours later and he was fine, and then the next kid in line freaked out... Yup that trip was long enough everyone had a chance to freak out twice.

For me it was when we were taking our big van into San Francisco, I found a little hotel , online, across the street from the zoo. They advertised free parking. There wasn't no way that van was going to fit in there. My sons had to duck for the clearance.  Their shoulders filled the hallways of the hotel. the beds were 5 feet long. I felt like I was taking the whole street, as I skittered out of there. My husband was amazed at how many stop signs I missed as moved as fast I could, stopping every freaking block. No wonder its is one of the cities destroyed first in every disaster film, you don't even have to build the set in miniature.

Finally, after crossing the Golden Gate Bridge, we made it north of San Fransico and I kept going for an hour and a half before I felt I could breathe again. I didn't feel so bad against the Redwoods, yeah, even my sons started looking up. My van looked puny against them. But we didn't take it through the drive-through tree.

So my hair turned grey, about the time I had my last baby. I felt kind of shaken the first time someone asked "are you her grandma?" So now I just kinda roll with it. I take Thursday mornings off to bring my kids to the library programs. Several other grandmas are there with their kids, and afterward, we all spoil the kids by bringing them to the bakery and calling a donut and rootbeer "lunch." And then before their blood sugar spikes, I drop them off with their Dad and go to work for the afternoon.

Reminds me of when my Dad took my nephew to a movie and let him get the unlimited refill pop and candy, thinking he would drop the kid off with the parents after the show. He got a phone call after the show that my sister, who has an autoimmune disease ended up in the hospital and he had to keep the kid all day. He learned his lesson and now he's allowed to take my kids on Saturdays.

My mother still feeds them junk food though, she buys these Costco side bags of chips, and always sends the rest of it home with my kids. I'll be like I had a day off I actually had time to cook a full healthy meal. My kids come home with a half-eaten bag of chips and nobody wants my tofu meatloaf and mashed cauliflowers anymore. with a side a kale. 

Sometimes it seems like the healthier I try to eat the less healthy the family actually eats. Yeah, serving vegan foods several times a week seems to be fatsest way to get them to learn to cook. Pretty soon I have kids making 6 boxes of mac and cheese, within an hour of a full meal. Another one does tacos at least once per week. One of my kids even apprenticed with a real chef his senior year in HIgh School and now he never eats at home, perhaps that's because he moved 2 hours away, or maybe its the tofu meatloaf. 

A god in Your own Mind

A god in your own mind

idol worship supreme

How sad it must be

to imagine you understand all

 How many mothers must die?

How many women tied to poverty?

Your limiting laws show only your limited life

limited experiences

and your arrogance

cut down your groves

stop passing our youth through the fire

clean your temple

renew your covenants

but oh no, you'd rent your clothes

and they're so shiny

your knees - stiff -

and you need to visit your chiropractor

Change

 Change

never a thing harder to accept

or do

If we want to change 

it challenges us, old habits hold us down, strangles our desire to rise

suffocates us from the inside

Of we don't want, life drags us kicking and screaming, until something breaks

our sanity or our hearts