One by One

I have been a teacher of record for Freshman Comp as a graduate assistant for the last 2.5 years. My stint is up in December, as I will graduate. We were given minimal guidance on what or how to teach. So I naturally pulled on my 40+ years of experience teaching things like Nursery, Primary Music, Sunday School, Relief Society, Ballet, and as a homeschooling mother.

The most important thing I ever learned about teaching is that everybody is an individual. I do not teach a class of 30, I teach 30 individuals in a class. Each comes with different experiences, different styles of learning, and different skills they need to build. Their brains and bodies each work in their own unique ways.

I try hard to learn every name every semester. I try to remember their strengths, weaknesses, tolerances for complication and to adjust my discussions, expectations, council, and encouragement for each one.

We can never choose what others are ready to learn, and if they are not ready to learn it, no amount of lecturing or assignments will get them there. What a true teacher really needs to do is meet the students where they are at, and work with them where they are at. If that means sectioning your lecture to cover different needs for different students, then do it.  A beautiful, cohesive, focused lecture will only help the students ready for that material. But if you hit 5 topics, perhaps you can help 5 times as many students.

The other thing I think is crucial is to love them, everyone, individually. Get to know them. Acknowledge their presence, and thank them for coming, discuss their favorite topics. Moving away from home, to a dorm, being in classrooms or lecture halls with 100s of other students, eating dinner in a noisy dining hall, can all be human processing- even dehumanizing. It is easy to become a number or an ID login, and everyone, especially those in emerging adulthood need to be reminded that they are more than a grade or a transcript. So I look in their eyes, write down what I like about what I am seeing in their papers and make a point to call them by name at least once every class. I grade individually, looking for growth in their skills and thought processes, and try to challenge appropriately.

No, I do not teach according to the latest techniques or theories, even if I know them, they are only useful to a small subset at any one time. No, I try to teach what each student needs.  I teach one by one.

Service and Social Media are not always opposite, It depends on your focus

Another thing to think about when looking at Social Media use and Narcism

Linda K Burton said: 

We live in a culture where more and more we are focused on the small, little screen in our hands than we are on the people around us. We have substituted texting and tweeting for actually looking someone in the eye and smiling or, even rarer, having a face-to-face conversation. We are often more concerned with how many followers and likes we have than with putting an arm around a friend and showing love, concern, and tangible interest. As amazing as modern technology can be for spreading the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ and helping us stay connected to family and friends, if we are not vigilant in how we use our personal devices, we too can begin to turn inward and forget that the essence of living the gospel is service.

I have tremendous love for and faith in those of you who are in your teen and young adult years. I have seen and felt of your desires to serve and make a difference in the world. I believe that most members consider service to be at the heart of their covenants and discipleship. But I also think that sometimes it’s easy to miss some of the greatest opportunities to serve others because we are distracted or because we are looking for ambitious ways to change the world and we don’t see that some of the most significant needs we can meet are within our own families, among our friends, in our wards, and in our communities. We are touched when we see the suffering and great needs of those halfway around the world, but we may fail to see there is a person who needs our friendship sitting right next to us in class.

Writting Education- does it make a difference?

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/10/the-writing-revolution/309090/

This is an amazing series of articles exploring the usefulness of how and whys of writing education at a High School level.

Helps answer the question of if teaching writing does any good at all?  What do you think?

Unleash the Youth!

In the Book of Mormon there is a story about a group of people who buried their weapons of war and committed to peace. This was great until a big war came about. Then the people felt bad that they couldn't help fight to protect their lands and people, but their children had not made that covenant. So the young people, just kids 10- 16ish years old stepped up and created an army.

Untrained, and young enough to be fearless, they learned the art of war while protecting their people. In the larger army, these young people, what we would call tweens and teenagers (usually with a sigh, rolling our eyes), repeatedly stepped in and saved the older warriors. Over and over they had the energy and vitality to do what was needed doing to save the day.

In our fight to keep our planet inhabitable, in our fight for a better world, should we leave our young people in Jr. High? Or should we let them form an army of doers, designers, and  thinkers?

Are our young people not up to the task of saving our planet from us? Do we not need the help in redesigning our systems?

They have bodies stronger and more supple then ours. They have brains as fast as lightening, and  energy to do and lots of energy to do. They were born using computer technologies, and They are also free of the distractions of making a living.

WHY ARE WE NOT UTILIZING THIS GREAT RESOURCE?

We can trust them, they are un-jaded, they just need to be pointed in the right direction and given a few course corrections now and then.

They learn responsibility by having responsibility. They learn to do things by doing things. They have pure motives.

We need to trust them and watch them earn it and re-earn it 100 times over.  They will save the day if we let them.

Toddling Through Demolition Zones

"I've been to Jr High, and you can never pay enough to go back."

I have heard that quote or ones like it several times in my life. Today was a day like it.
"I have been to hell, parenting young, over active and extra destructive children, and never wish to go back."

But today, just like when one has a minor heart attack, walking back through the halls of the Jr High they went to, I tasted it again.

My first child has autism, and was extra tall for his age. The second child was very happy to follow his lead for the first 4 years of his life. I lived in a demolition zone for the first 12 years of their lives. Every day they would find new and more creative ways to wreak havoc and permanent harm upon our domicile and all things in and around where ever they were.

As parents of the destructive whirlwinds, we were always trying to out maneuver their abilities, putting locks on doors (the one blocking the kitchen off was a key to sanity), building shelves 10 feet off the floor and giving up the concepts of ever having an intact door, dry wall with no holes, an un-ripped book, or un -shattered glass wear. This got so bad, that when we finally had a house built for us, we had drains put in every floor and wood boards put behind all the dry walls.

It wasn't until about 2 years ago, when the addition was built, that we actually decided the extra expense of the boards behind the drywall would not be necessary. It is really nice when your F5 tornadoes of children become teenage ready leaders, and are starting collage classes before they are out of high-school.

So, I still have youngsters, preschoolers, toddlers, babies. They have all been calm and happy compared to the first 2/3. ... However, my sister and mother somehow maneuvered so we would have her 3 young children today.

Hello Hell, I have to say, I haven't missed you.

We got a kiddie pool and sprinkler to help keep them busy. So they were running in and out of the house with buckets of hot water to help warm the pool. Not bad idea if you enjoy having a trail of wet sand through your house, from the side door, through the entry, the living room and the laundry room.

Then they got tired of it and wanted to play upstairs, so I some how found clothes for them all to wear (it turns out all their clothes, except their swimsuits were in grandpa's car).  And they went upstairs to play. A little while later one of the kids comes down and says he needs to go outside to see the results of the water experiment they were doing upstairs.

Which meant I had to go see what they were doing upstairs. They had ripped a hole in the bedroom screen and tossed things through it to the roof below them, and then commenced pouring water through the window, which in our house, allows the water to possibly be caught in the insulation under the window.

So I sent them all outside again and locked the doors. Of course they couldn't stay out of the kiddie pool. so soon they are playing mostly naked outside, having taking off the sets of, now wet, clothes I put on them. Then they decided to come inside and empty everything in search of the swimsuits they had on only and hour ago.

After they left the former contents of our sandbox in my bath tub, and the floor full of sopping towels, Grandma called. She was done with her meeting.

Even though I did laundry all day. I think the pile ended up bigger than it started.

Amy, I love you, and I love your children, But I have decided I prefer kid over kids, and I am really starting to like teenagers. Whenever there is enough of them to gang up on you..... you should at least be allowed to use a tazor, or tear gas (only I couldn't handle any more crying!). When I left the bathroom to grab them a towel I literally overheard Kira and Shannon plotting against me.

WOW, now I remember why whenever I tried to clean the house that the house would end up dirtier then when I started. I think I will keep my teens.

Soul Sucking

It is always fun, in a soul sucking way, to  meet with our financial advisers. Part of the fun is the fact that we have spent (and continue to spend) the vast majority of our time and energies raising our children. Among our 7 beautiful additions to this world are 3 that have special needs. Yes, we deal with autism, ODD, spinal bifida, mood disorders, the terrible twos and the dreaded teenagers on a daily basis.

 They suggest we hire outside help for the children so we can go and get a career. (Even if we don't break even on costs of career income minus a tutor for our children). Le Sigh... Of course that often seems to be kin to a major sin to refuse to perpetuate a broken system that values your contributions out of your home more then the contributions within your home.  Of course, when you make your money out of the stock and bonds system, anything that grow the economy is good for you. So if I get a job, and have to hire my job out and then drive through on the way hone because I am too tired to cook. It all adds to the economy (as it is counted), but subtracts from what matters most to me, my family. It just doesn't seem logical to do so. When I consider this scenario, I hear a life sucking sound, where all my efforts go to building someone else's coffers and not the one things that truly matter.

Everything we do is for our children. I just wish it could make a difference in the longevity of the world. Sometimes, other times I kinda look towards heaven and wish the end of the world to hurry up. But maybe that should be part of my equation. What good is a career and investments in financial markets when the world ends?

With what time we may or may not have left on the planet, should I not also consider that the economy as we know it perpetuates the destruction of the world? Without the desires for increased wealth would we not have made better decisions as a country or world? Would we not have possibly considered that we can't breathe soot or drink liquid coal and put tons of CO2 into the atmosphere with no consequences?

Seriously folks... you are worried about my retirement plan, instead of if there will be a world to retire on?

PS- I don't plan on retiring, I plan on working and building and learning and teaching and creating as much positive in the world as I can all the days of my life. I plan to prepare for the changes ahead and to ride through them with my family.

What to eat when you are starving, but have no room for anything

I have read a lot of different opinions on what to eat when you are expecting, only the authors always seem to forget the last few weeks of pregnancy.

An article on that should be entitled "What to eat when you are starving, but have no room for anything."

I feel like that this morning. Baby is sitting in my ribs (but hasn't vacated my abdomen either). She is getting bigger and wanting to lay down the last layers of fat on her before she is born. However, I have been luckily to eat more then 1 peach at a time.

This also means that I can't bend over or take in enough oxygen to completely satisfy my system.

I have been convinced that babies neither know or care what discomforts they make you endure. A parents only satisfaction in that is hoping they become a grandparent someday and their kids learn first hand what troubles they caused just by being a baby.

Of course, I am not saying it's not worth the effort. The greatest joys in life (and the greatest sorrows) come from watching the antics of your little ones as you raise them and see them grow into real men and women. And then you are so proud of them. And when you stop to think about it, you are often proud of yourself, that you somehow managed to let them/ help them survive long enough to make it to adult hood.

I am the mother of 7. The things that made my scream and rant when my first couple were 2 year olds now make me giggle with my 6th being 2. Baby and toddler-hood gets a lot easier with experience. The oldest, braving new worlds of high school- freedom-experience- driving and other things are the ones that still cause stress. It is new territory for us. We have never parented through those phases before.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand... feeding yourself and baby when there is no room to eat. I just opened the fridge, looked at the fruit, veggies, hummus and meats. It all sounds nauseating, even though I am hungry. Maybe I will try some ice cream (vegan).

Dress well, thy part.

So let me ask a few questions. Does one go to a business meeting in a bathrobe or swim suit? What would happen if you did? You would turn a few heads, be snickered at, perhaps asked to go home and change, or maybe even get fired?

Does one get married in their grubbies? Or go to the fancy restaurant in the same clothes you use for scrubbing a toilet?

How many hours does the average lady spend in front of a mirror everyday to look the way she thinks is her?

Does not every stage costumer purposely construct the look of the character down to the smallest details to tell you what you need to know about them before they even open their mouth?

Do we not dress for the parts we play everyday?

And if so, then it is only reasonable to assume that if we dress like we are seeking male sexual attention that we would then get male sexual attentions? (ie, if you dress like a slut, you are must likely going to be treated like a slut.)

But wait- You don’t want this attention? Then just maybe you should consider dressing for the kind of attention you wish to receive.

I just finished reading an article that complained about the school asking the girls to refrain from wearing tight pants and belly showing shirts to school because they “distracts the boys.” They writer of the article claims that it teaches girls that they are to blame for how the boys treat them, and this creates the “rape culture.”

Seriously, we are now blaming men for the fact that they are hard wired to look at girls?

Yes, ideally, real men will look and never touch, and treat you like a respected equal no matter what you are wearing. But let’s face it, it is hard for the best of us to do that, (not to mention 12 year old boys) we try, but we still judge others on how they present themselves, and quiet often we treat them according to how they dress and behave.

So either you can agree with the writer and believe dress codes blame girls for being raped. Or you can accept the fact humans are humans and subject to biological follies, and use that to your advantage.

And one more word: if you drink to much and walk down dark alleys alone at night, it is not the “rape culture” that will get you. It is your own stupidity. Years ago there were a lot of concrete rules to prevent women from behaving in those ways that were most likely to compromise them.  Dark alleys and drunk girls are putting themselves in compromised situations, no matter what the decade or century is. Yes, the raper is guilty, 100%, but you most likely could have prevented it had you first thought about the possible consequences.

How to Handle Challanging behavior in children

A new Approach-


http://acestoohigh.com/2012/04/23/lincoln-high-school-in-walla-walla-wa-tries-new-approach-to-school-discipline-expulsions-drop-85/

There are just two simple rules, says Turner.

Rule No. 1: Take nothing a raging kid says personally. Really. Act like a duck: let the words roll off your back like drops of water.

Rule No. 2: Don’t mirror the kid’s behavior. Take a deep breath. Wait for the storm to pass, and then ask something along the lines of: “Are you okay? Did something happen to you that’s bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?”

It’s not that a kid gets off the hook for bad behavior. “There have to be consequences,” explains Turner. Replace punishment, which doesn’t work, with a system to give kids tools so that they can learn how to recognize their reaction to stress and to control it. “We need to teach the kids how to do something differently if we want to see a different response.

The great Unknown

I have only been a parent for 12 years,
and as such, I know absolutely nothing about teenagers. I may have already accumulated 37 years of child rearing experience, but none of that prepares me for the tasks that lie ahead.

I feel this especially strong as I did my best to skip over my own teenage-hood in search of a real life. I wanted to take responsibility and do real world things and my parents let me. I went to college at 16, opened my first business at 17. When I was 12 I started doing a lot of the cooking, meal planning and grocery shopping. I had no interest in driving a car until we moved 20 miles out of town and I needed the transportation. I had no interests in parties. I just wanted to study, dance and stay up late holding real conversations with my dad.

If anything I wasn't so much a teenager as an Adult in Training.

I really wasn't interested in the milestones of growing up, prom, graduation or first date never inticsed me to dreams or actions, cars were nothing more then dangerous tools to be used with care.

I never felt a bone of rebellion until I attended a dance camp in Canada where one of the main teachers was hypocritical. And in this state of rebellion, I colored my pointe shoes as the American Flag and wore them to class. I still remembered her face when she saw them- utter shock at such insolence- In her high shrieks at such a dastardly deed, I was thrown out of class. I never had to say a word.

Early teenage hood, I think was much harder then later. I had a new body and new hormones, and weren't quite sure how to handle either one. I remember my mom's frustration at how easily I broke into tears, and the confusion of what clothes I could wear vs what clothes I should wear . It was way to easy to draw attention to myself in all the wrong ways. My saving grace was that I really didn't care about guys yet or what they thought about me. In fact, in my memory there is really nothing more turn-offish then the stupidity and crassness of the 6th and 7th grade boys.

The problem is that I now have a 6th grade boy. One with a constantly changing body and a certain kind of stupidity that reminds me about what I hated most about middle school. I can't go home to escape from him or have my brother answer the phone when he calls me for the 100th time in the night.

I find that my oldest child is always the hardest. He is the one always making me blaze the new parental trails in my life. I had some idea what to do for my second and third and was giving advice to our pediatrician by the 4th (he asked me because he just had a new baby). I now feel very experienced in babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and even elementary schoolers- but teenage-hood??

If I allowed my self to be scared of the future- it is not peak oil that makes my heart beat harder- it is the unknown of parenting a household of teenagers- for the next 20 years!!!

Maybe I should have considered all the responsibility I wanted as an "Adult in Training "- because having 6 kid- this is the fate I caused myself.

It is probably a good thing birth control isn't retroactive.