I have come to think that the impending abortion bills in states across the US
is a red herring for the real agenda.
The real agenda is more about the destruction of womanhood. Mothering is a part of the nature of every woman- we teach, we care, we uplight. We can mother without ever having had a baby.
But when we get divided over the issues of abortion, we forget the aspect of valuing motherhood.
Both sides miss it.
The pro-choice groups do have a point, being able to handle the demands of motherhood is a good idea, and having control over when to reproduce is the fastest way for women and children to get out of poverty. There are many people in this group that understand that abortion does not only mean ending a life of a fetus, but often saving the life of the mother. If you ever had to experience abortion for health care reasons you would know that any reduction in access to that care could have quickly ended your ability to have more babies, and potentially leaving the babies you do have motherless.
The pro-life groups have a point that babies should be loved and wanted, but they don't seem to see that it won't magically happen just because people can not have safe abortions. Yes, abortions make horrible birth control. It is tough emotionally and physically on the body, getting worse the farther into the pregnancy you are. But they are not trusting women to make the choice for themselves of what is best for the circumstances they find themselves in.
I would argue the best way to reduce abortion rates is through enthroning motherhood. When mothers are valued, when they are supported emotionally and physically through the laws of the land; have access to reproductive healthcare (includes birth control and full ranges of OB/GYN and midwifery care), paid maternity leave for a year, or when wages are high enough that a mother can afford not to work and still eat. When all the work in the mother's day is counted in the value of a country's economics. When these things happen- when mothers are trusted to make choices of what is best for themselves and their families- then both sides of the issue can see eye to eye.
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Friday, May 17, 2019
Wednesday, May 08, 2019
corn muffins
Don't forget your corn muffins in the oven
while writing poetry
let it be written in your mind
while little one entwine your heart
keep your hands busy today
after your corn muffins and chili
have been served and cleaned up
babes are fed and asleep across your lap
take up your notebook
thoughts of the day
unwind with the movements of a pen
while writing poetry
let it be written in your mind
while little one entwine your heart
keep your hands busy today
after your corn muffins and chili
have been served and cleaned up
babes are fed and asleep across your lap
take up your notebook
thoughts of the day
unwind with the movements of a pen
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Jesus has Piddies
We were visiting the Hill Cumhora LDS Visitor's Center, and there is a big statue of Christ, the Christus room, the 2 missionaries were talking of Christ. So we were brought into this room and Egon runs up to the statue and stares at it. He points and says "Jesus! That's Jesus!". Then he reaches out to touch it "Jesus has piddies" he said as he touched Christ's toes. Then the audio of Christ's words came on, sounding like it was Christ's voice, and he jumped back and looked all around trying to determine where the voice came from. He looked at the statue, then heavenwards in awe and confusion.
After the audio played all the little children came up to crawl at Christ's feet. We had to tell them they shouldn't climb the statue.
After the audio played all the little children came up to crawl at Christ's feet. We had to tell them they shouldn't climb the statue.
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Children have become a luxury.
Children have become a luxury.
Instead of new cars, I have kids.
Instead of a fancy house, I have kids.
Instead of touring Europe, I have kids.
Instead of ATVs, camper, boats and other toys, I have kids.
Instead of jewels, designer clothes, or the newest iPhone, I have kids.
With birth control easily available and cheap, compared to a pregnancy, I have chosen to have each of the children I had. The last several I very specifically remember asking for. They are the jewels, the work, and glory of my life.
They are my focus, my entertainment, my joy and my hope for the future.
The birthrates in the US have fallen to an average of 1.77 children per women. That is sad. "Why don't people want babies?" is easy to ask, but most of it has to do with economic reality and not desire. Many people would also buy that fancier house/car or iPhone if they could afford it. However, most women still carve out space, time and money, for at least one of the cute little mini-mes in their lives, often at older ages than ever before.
Are children now status symbols? if so it is an ironic one.
The one that almost precludes all others. For if you choose to have kids, you choose to have your walls colored on, you choose to stay up all night with inconsolable infants, you choose to wear sweatpants and forget to brush your hair some weeks. You choose to stretch your belly out of any recognizable form. You choose to spend your evenings at little league games and PTA meetings, weekends camping with Boy Scouts. You choose to have your names scratched into your car's paint by a kid who just learned to spell. You choose to have the iPhone thrown in the toilet. And you choose to love them, again and again, no matter what they did to your stuff. You learn that the things that make you the happiest are not things at all, but are the relationships and growth of those around you.
Perhaps, kids are a status of your state of mind, one where it not only points to your economic status, but to your priorities.
Instead of new cars, I have kids.
Instead of a fancy house, I have kids.
Instead of touring Europe, I have kids.
Instead of ATVs, camper, boats and other toys, I have kids.
Instead of jewels, designer clothes, or the newest iPhone, I have kids.
With birth control easily available and cheap, compared to a pregnancy, I have chosen to have each of the children I had. The last several I very specifically remember asking for. They are the jewels, the work, and glory of my life.
They are my focus, my entertainment, my joy and my hope for the future.
The birthrates in the US have fallen to an average of 1.77 children per women. That is sad. "Why don't people want babies?" is easy to ask, but most of it has to do with economic reality and not desire. Many people would also buy that fancier house/car or iPhone if they could afford it. However, most women still carve out space, time and money, for at least one of the cute little mini-mes in their lives, often at older ages than ever before.
Are children now status symbols? if so it is an ironic one.
The one that almost precludes all others. For if you choose to have kids, you choose to have your walls colored on, you choose to stay up all night with inconsolable infants, you choose to wear sweatpants and forget to brush your hair some weeks. You choose to stretch your belly out of any recognizable form. You choose to spend your evenings at little league games and PTA meetings, weekends camping with Boy Scouts. You choose to have your names scratched into your car's paint by a kid who just learned to spell. You choose to have the iPhone thrown in the toilet. And you choose to love them, again and again, no matter what they did to your stuff. You learn that the things that make you the happiest are not things at all, but are the relationships and growth of those around you.
Perhaps, kids are a status of your state of mind, one where it not only points to your economic status, but to your priorities.
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Chief Glory of Women
Virginia Woolf might have done her best to talk about what was not being said. In this regard, she quoted Pericles “The chief glory of a woman is not to be talked of” (242). That, of course, begs the question: What is the chief glory of a woman? With all those books written on women, we are left wondering what could there possibly be left to talk about? (right now I am snuggling my baby who fell asleep on my chest, and I am beginning to suspect that the chief glory of a women lies somewhere around the snuggling of babies.) Unfortunately, Virginia Woolf never had that opportunity, and neither did any of the male authors, and that is why they couldn’t talk about it. They never experienced it for themselves. So perhaps Woolf and Pericles saw the chief glory of the women in terms of what is considered taboo, the things that are not to be talked about.
(stolen from my seminar paper)
(stolen from my seminar paper)
Monday, February 26, 2018
A closet full
Ever see a picture of a cute baby and think"I want one" Then realize you have 8 more at home just like it, only a little older?
I mean, isn't that like wanting a cute pair of boots you see, when you already have 8 similar pairs walking around your house all day, eating your food and demanding that they sit on you rather than you wearing them?
I mean, I am really not big into shoes/boots. I have 1 pair of boots at a time. When they wear out I replace them with 1 pair of boots. I have 1 pair of tennies, 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of dress shoes and 3 pairs of Vibrams 5 finger shoes.
For purses I have 2- I travel one that can slip under my clothes and 1 regular one.
I might have a belt somewhere- should I deem it useful.
I have 1/2 a dozen scarves to wear with my work clothes. Most of the time the scarves carry all the burden of coloring my ensemble. My work clothes is based in navy blue. I have 3 pairs of work pants and 1 jacket. A navy turtleneck when it is cold, and a navy crewneck for when it is not. For warmer weather, I have 3 -4 short sleeve dressy shirts.
Whenever I find a tool that will allow me to get rid of 2, I do so. And stuff is just tools. I don't collect them.
But babies. They are something else.
I mean, isn't that like wanting a cute pair of boots you see, when you already have 8 similar pairs walking around your house all day, eating your food and demanding that they sit on you rather than you wearing them?
I mean, I am really not big into shoes/boots. I have 1 pair of boots at a time. When they wear out I replace them with 1 pair of boots. I have 1 pair of tennies, 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of dress shoes and 3 pairs of Vibrams 5 finger shoes.
For purses I have 2- I travel one that can slip under my clothes and 1 regular one.
I might have a belt somewhere- should I deem it useful.
I have 1/2 a dozen scarves to wear with my work clothes. Most of the time the scarves carry all the burden of coloring my ensemble. My work clothes is based in navy blue. I have 3 pairs of work pants and 1 jacket. A navy turtleneck when it is cold, and a navy crewneck for when it is not. For warmer weather, I have 3 -4 short sleeve dressy shirts.
Whenever I find a tool that will allow me to get rid of 2, I do so. And stuff is just tools. I don't collect them.
But babies. They are something else.
Sunday, February 07, 2016
Pregnancy secrets, we won't tell you in person
1. We bring an extra change of underwear to our exercise classes.
2. It still thrills us when our toddler falls asleep across our belly or on our chest.
3. Nothing fits comfortably, which is why we strip to almost nothing the minute we walk in the door. What fits where changes every minute of the day. Sometimes it depends on how to baby sit or if our breasts are going through one of their 10 pound moments.
4. You stink, the garbage stinks, the food smells either stinks or makes us drool. Fresh air can stink. I stink. Flowers stink, soap stinks,
5. Pregnancy makes you horny, and hungry, and horny and hungry, and of course tired. So all you want to do is pretend it's your honey-moon and eat, sleep and make love, over and over and over.
6. I love questions about parenting but hate about which kid is easier, boys or girls. In general there are a few similarities between girls that are different then boys, but each kid is so different, that I would have to tell you a detailed history of my child rearing days, and with 8 kids that would take all day, so I will just shrug and shake my head at you, unless, of course you want a day- long treatsie.
2. It still thrills us when our toddler falls asleep across our belly or on our chest.
3. Nothing fits comfortably, which is why we strip to almost nothing the minute we walk in the door. What fits where changes every minute of the day. Sometimes it depends on how to baby sit or if our breasts are going through one of their 10 pound moments.
4. You stink, the garbage stinks, the food smells either stinks or makes us drool. Fresh air can stink. I stink. Flowers stink, soap stinks,
5. Pregnancy makes you horny, and hungry, and horny and hungry, and of course tired. So all you want to do is pretend it's your honey-moon and eat, sleep and make love, over and over and over.
6. I love questions about parenting but hate about which kid is easier, boys or girls. In general there are a few similarities between girls that are different then boys, but each kid is so different, that I would have to tell you a detailed history of my child rearing days, and with 8 kids that would take all day, so I will just shrug and shake my head at you, unless, of course you want a day- long treatsie.
Wednesday, January 06, 2016
Pregnant with #8
Yesterday I heard this baby's heartbeat for the 1st time. It was good to have proof that the last 16 weeks of morning sickness has not been in vain. Being pregnant with #8 made quite a few people gasp, especially those who know we already have 4 with special needs. My husband and I, of course, have been wondering when should we get fixed and stop having babies. We knew we had to wait for after Arwen (she came #7, not #5, like we thought she would). And Arwen has been the dreamy, happy, cutie pumpkin that inspires us to smile and laugh at all the world holds. She is the child we wouldn't mind repeated. When she was born it didn't feel right to get fixed yet. 2 years later we could feel one was missing- the classic counting up the kids, and they are all there, but somehow one is missing. And sure enough over the full moon in September, we were horny little march hares and just couldn't get enough of each other without caring about birth control, when the time is right to conceive it is really really hard not to.
Yes, I have plans for my future. I am going to school full time in pre-med studies, pulling straight As. I am just your average almost 40, pregnant mother of 7, pursuing her pre-med studies, hoping to become a medical researcher MD at the Mayo clinic and revolutionize something useful and needful. Understanding autism would be fun, applying ground breaking research in neurology and dealing with the related fields of dyslexia and anxiety, but bringing dentistry into the new millennium would also be a worthy goal. Most likely, I will probably end up working on something that I can't even fathom at the moment.
When my first was born, I knew that I had found what I was born to do. I was born to do 2 things. First was to have babies (check, that can be counted as accomplished, mostly, I think), the second was to be a doctor or midwife. Because my first has autism, and required all hands on deck his first 12 years, I couldn't devote the time to continue my schooling until 13 years, and 5 kids, later.
.
So with all of this background and thoughts running through my head, I woke up this morning feeling like I want to have babies forever. Which, of course is a big cannon ball in the ships of logic. The advantage is, that I am mortal, and I assume I will follow a mortal course and nature will make it impossible for me to continue child bearing at some point. If I look at my grandmas: one had her last at 44 (thanks to birth control), and the other was pregnant at 50 (in 1956, and the doctors thought it was a tumor, until it starting kicking). If fertility actually declines as you get older (I haven't seen any personal evidence of that yet), then supposedly I should have less children in the next 10 years then in the previous.
So logic or feelings? Well logic has a major flaw. It has to have all the pertinent facts to draw a safe conclusion. Feelings, has a tendency to take into account, things we do not see or understand at the moment. And when in doubt, follow the path of love.
I like the simple things in life. The laughter of children, the work of daily living chores, the snuggling of a sleeping child on my chest, and a good bowl of beans while studying a physics text.
I dream of travel, of serving a mission in other countries and bringing clean water to villages. But I know happiness, no matter what circumstances you are in comes from within, and the life within me has the potential to bring me great joy.
Yes, I have plans for my future. I am going to school full time in pre-med studies, pulling straight As. I am just your average almost 40, pregnant mother of 7, pursuing her pre-med studies, hoping to become a medical researcher MD at the Mayo clinic and revolutionize something useful and needful. Understanding autism would be fun, applying ground breaking research in neurology and dealing with the related fields of dyslexia and anxiety, but bringing dentistry into the new millennium would also be a worthy goal. Most likely, I will probably end up working on something that I can't even fathom at the moment.
When my first was born, I knew that I had found what I was born to do. I was born to do 2 things. First was to have babies (check, that can be counted as accomplished, mostly, I think), the second was to be a doctor or midwife. Because my first has autism, and required all hands on deck his first 12 years, I couldn't devote the time to continue my schooling until 13 years, and 5 kids, later.
.
So with all of this background and thoughts running through my head, I woke up this morning feeling like I want to have babies forever. Which, of course is a big cannon ball in the ships of logic. The advantage is, that I am mortal, and I assume I will follow a mortal course and nature will make it impossible for me to continue child bearing at some point. If I look at my grandmas: one had her last at 44 (thanks to birth control), and the other was pregnant at 50 (in 1956, and the doctors thought it was a tumor, until it starting kicking). If fertility actually declines as you get older (I haven't seen any personal evidence of that yet), then supposedly I should have less children in the next 10 years then in the previous.
So logic or feelings? Well logic has a major flaw. It has to have all the pertinent facts to draw a safe conclusion. Feelings, has a tendency to take into account, things we do not see or understand at the moment. And when in doubt, follow the path of love.
I like the simple things in life. The laughter of children, the work of daily living chores, the snuggling of a sleeping child on my chest, and a good bowl of beans while studying a physics text.
I dream of travel, of serving a mission in other countries and bringing clean water to villages. But I know happiness, no matter what circumstances you are in comes from within, and the life within me has the potential to bring me great joy.
Sunday, July 05, 2015
Living with a toddler
I'm trying to convince my 23 month old that she doesn't have to nurse *all* the time. "There is this thing," I tell her, "called a glass of water. It doesn't come attached to a sarcastic mother.
And why is it that she refuses to walk more then 10 steps should we be trying to get anywhere, but will run and run and run should we try to sit down and pay attention in church or go to a movie?
And why is it that she refuses to walk more then 10 steps should we be trying to get anywhere, but will run and run and run should we try to sit down and pay attention in church or go to a movie?
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
but I will not forget thee
It must hard being the 7th child.
Once in a while, while juggling the needs of her six older siblings she has been forgotten. Once I got her all ready to go, put her in her car seat and then went to the parent teacher conferences without her. I didn't even remember I'd forgotten her until one if the teachers asked how she was doing. (She was safe at home with daddy and slept the whole time.) but it surprised me. Since when do nursing mothers forget their baby? I mean, seriously, our boobs ache when we go too long without them.
Tonight is forgotten her again. She was asleep downstairs and I went to go to bed, forgetting to bring her up to bed until after I saw her bed empty.
This is an amazing, happy, awesome baby that I have waited 7 kids to get- to forget her would be to ignore all my motherly longings since I started naming my future children when I was 12.
Ah, how thankful I am that I have someone in my life who will never forget me.
Isaiah 48:15
Shall a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yeah, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee.
Behold, I have graven thee; on the palms of my hands....
Once in a while, while juggling the needs of her six older siblings she has been forgotten. Once I got her all ready to go, put her in her car seat and then went to the parent teacher conferences without her. I didn't even remember I'd forgotten her until one if the teachers asked how she was doing. (She was safe at home with daddy and slept the whole time.) but it surprised me. Since when do nursing mothers forget their baby? I mean, seriously, our boobs ache when we go too long without them.
Tonight is forgotten her again. She was asleep downstairs and I went to go to bed, forgetting to bring her up to bed until after I saw her bed empty.
This is an amazing, happy, awesome baby that I have waited 7 kids to get- to forget her would be to ignore all my motherly longings since I started naming my future children when I was 12.
Ah, how thankful I am that I have someone in my life who will never forget me.
Isaiah 48:15
Shall a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yeah, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee.
Behold, I have graven thee; on the palms of my hands....
Monday, January 13, 2014
Soul Sucking
It is always fun, in a soul sucking way, to meet with our financial advisers. Part of the fun is the fact that we have spent (and continue to spend) the vast majority of our time and energies raising our children. Among our 7 beautiful additions to this world are 3 that have special needs. Yes, we deal with autism, ODD, spinal bifida, mood disorders, the terrible twos and the dreaded teenagers on a daily basis.
They suggest we hire outside help for the children so we can go and get a career. (Even if we don't break even on costs of career income minus a tutor for our children). Le Sigh... Of course that often seems to be kin to a major sin to refuse to perpetuate a broken system that values your contributions out of your home more then the contributions within your home. Of course, when you make your money out of the stock and bonds system, anything that grow the economy is good for you. So if I get a job, and have to hire my job out and then drive through on the way hone because I am too tired to cook. It all adds to the economy (as it is counted), but subtracts from what matters most to me, my family. It just doesn't seem logical to do so. When I consider this scenario, I hear a life sucking sound, where all my efforts go to building someone else's coffers and not the one things that truly matter.
Everything we do is for our children. I just wish it could make a difference in the longevity of the world. Sometimes, other times I kinda look towards heaven and wish the end of the world to hurry up. But maybe that should be part of my equation. What good is a career and investments in financial markets when the world ends?
With what time we may or may not have left on the planet, should I not also consider that the economy as we know it perpetuates the destruction of the world? Without the desires for increased wealth would we not have made better decisions as a country or world? Would we not have possibly considered that we can't breathe soot or drink liquid coal and put tons of CO2 into the atmosphere with no consequences?
Seriously folks... you are worried about my retirement plan, instead of if there will be a world to retire on?
PS- I don't plan on retiring, I plan on working and building and learning and teaching and creating as much positive in the world as I can all the days of my life. I plan to prepare for the changes ahead and to ride through them with my family.
They suggest we hire outside help for the children so we can go and get a career. (Even if we don't break even on costs of career income minus a tutor for our children). Le Sigh... Of course that often seems to be kin to a major sin to refuse to perpetuate a broken system that values your contributions out of your home more then the contributions within your home. Of course, when you make your money out of the stock and bonds system, anything that grow the economy is good for you. So if I get a job, and have to hire my job out and then drive through on the way hone because I am too tired to cook. It all adds to the economy (as it is counted), but subtracts from what matters most to me, my family. It just doesn't seem logical to do so. When I consider this scenario, I hear a life sucking sound, where all my efforts go to building someone else's coffers and not the one things that truly matter.
Everything we do is for our children. I just wish it could make a difference in the longevity of the world. Sometimes, other times I kinda look towards heaven and wish the end of the world to hurry up. But maybe that should be part of my equation. What good is a career and investments in financial markets when the world ends?
With what time we may or may not have left on the planet, should I not also consider that the economy as we know it perpetuates the destruction of the world? Without the desires for increased wealth would we not have made better decisions as a country or world? Would we not have possibly considered that we can't breathe soot or drink liquid coal and put tons of CO2 into the atmosphere with no consequences?
Seriously folks... you are worried about my retirement plan, instead of if there will be a world to retire on?
PS- I don't plan on retiring, I plan on working and building and learning and teaching and creating as much positive in the world as I can all the days of my life. I plan to prepare for the changes ahead and to ride through them with my family.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
still pregnant
I'm still pregnant, but just want to be left alone to die in peace.
I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was actually dying, but right now, I feel miserable and really just want my own quiet space to be left alone in.
Perhaps I am still trying to make room in my life for this baby and it's not coming easily.
And of course I am ridiculously hormonal and very easy to make cry.
I feel sorry for everyone who has to be around me.
I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was actually dying, but right now, I feel miserable and really just want my own quiet space to be left alone in.
Perhaps I am still trying to make room in my life for this baby and it's not coming easily.
And of course I am ridiculously hormonal and very easy to make cry.
I feel sorry for everyone who has to be around me.
Friday, July 19, 2013
What to eat when you are starving, but have no room for anything
I have read a lot of different opinions on what to eat when you are expecting, only the authors always seem to forget the last few weeks of pregnancy.
An article on that should be entitled "What to eat when you are starving, but have no room for anything."
I feel like that this morning. Baby is sitting in my ribs (but hasn't vacated my abdomen either). She is getting bigger and wanting to lay down the last layers of fat on her before she is born. However, I have been luckily to eat more then 1 peach at a time.
This also means that I can't bend over or take in enough oxygen to completely satisfy my system.
I have been convinced that babies neither know or care what discomforts they make you endure. A parents only satisfaction in that is hoping they become a grandparent someday and their kids learn first hand what troubles they caused just by being a baby.
Of course, I am not saying it's not worth the effort. The greatest joys in life (and the greatest sorrows) come from watching the antics of your little ones as you raise them and see them grow into real men and women. And then you are so proud of them. And when you stop to think about it, you are often proud of yourself, that you somehow managed to let them/ help them survive long enough to make it to adult hood.
I am the mother of 7. The things that made my scream and rant when my first couple were 2 year olds now make me giggle with my 6th being 2. Baby and toddler-hood gets a lot easier with experience. The oldest, braving new worlds of high school- freedom-experience- driving and other things are the ones that still cause stress. It is new territory for us. We have never parented through those phases before.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand... feeding yourself and baby when there is no room to eat. I just opened the fridge, looked at the fruit, veggies, hummus and meats. It all sounds nauseating, even though I am hungry. Maybe I will try some ice cream (vegan).
An article on that should be entitled "What to eat when you are starving, but have no room for anything."
I feel like that this morning. Baby is sitting in my ribs (but hasn't vacated my abdomen either). She is getting bigger and wanting to lay down the last layers of fat on her before she is born. However, I have been luckily to eat more then 1 peach at a time.
This also means that I can't bend over or take in enough oxygen to completely satisfy my system.
I have been convinced that babies neither know or care what discomforts they make you endure. A parents only satisfaction in that is hoping they become a grandparent someday and their kids learn first hand what troubles they caused just by being a baby.
Of course, I am not saying it's not worth the effort. The greatest joys in life (and the greatest sorrows) come from watching the antics of your little ones as you raise them and see them grow into real men and women. And then you are so proud of them. And when you stop to think about it, you are often proud of yourself, that you somehow managed to let them/ help them survive long enough to make it to adult hood.
I am the mother of 7. The things that made my scream and rant when my first couple were 2 year olds now make me giggle with my 6th being 2. Baby and toddler-hood gets a lot easier with experience. The oldest, braving new worlds of high school- freedom-experience- driving and other things are the ones that still cause stress. It is new territory for us. We have never parented through those phases before.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand... feeding yourself and baby when there is no room to eat. I just opened the fridge, looked at the fruit, veggies, hummus and meats. It all sounds nauseating, even though I am hungry. Maybe I will try some ice cream (vegan).
Monday, July 08, 2013
Impending 7th birth
I haven't blogged much about the impending birth of my 7th child. It is hard to add further information to what I have already blogged on the topic of grandmultiparas.
All I know is that I am tired and ornery and already dilating ( a whole 1 cm!)...but slowly. Baby isn't scheduled for another month, but when it is 89 degrees outside you stop caring too much and tell your little one she can come as long as she is developed enough to breathe and have her liver kick in. And I also know that every time I move, walk, change laundry, try to sit up.... it feels like a decent contraction, but it is hard to be sure with the baby big enough that all you feel is baby bones every time you touch your overwhelmingly large belly.
I have finally started nesting, cleaning things and sewing curtains and table clothes and the like. I have also already washed the stuff I need immediately for baby- bedding and clothing and lots of well loved receiving blankets. Some are the same ones that I used for my first baby (and all since). And I made sure to put the emergency birth kits in the cars.
It is amazing how much peace of mind it gives me know that no matter where baby decides to come that all I have to do is have someone run out to the car and I will have the necessary supplies to birth without fear (and hopefully make it safely home with baby with no medical interventions!)
We had to take Reuben's toddler bed out of his room today. I found him this morning standing on it , leaning out his upstairs window, in which he had already knocked out his screen. Yeah.... He's not strong enough to move his new big boy bed. It was a good thing we had warm sunshine this morning, or else the mosquito horde would have stolen my son away, or left him as a withered husk.
All I know is that I am tired and ornery and already dilating ( a whole 1 cm!)...but slowly. Baby isn't scheduled for another month, but when it is 89 degrees outside you stop caring too much and tell your little one she can come as long as she is developed enough to breathe and have her liver kick in. And I also know that every time I move, walk, change laundry, try to sit up.... it feels like a decent contraction, but it is hard to be sure with the baby big enough that all you feel is baby bones every time you touch your overwhelmingly large belly.
I have finally started nesting, cleaning things and sewing curtains and table clothes and the like. I have also already washed the stuff I need immediately for baby- bedding and clothing and lots of well loved receiving blankets. Some are the same ones that I used for my first baby (and all since). And I made sure to put the emergency birth kits in the cars.
It is amazing how much peace of mind it gives me know that no matter where baby decides to come that all I have to do is have someone run out to the car and I will have the necessary supplies to birth without fear (and hopefully make it safely home with baby with no medical interventions!)
We had to take Reuben's toddler bed out of his room today. I found him this morning standing on it , leaning out his upstairs window, in which he had already knocked out his screen. Yeah.... He's not strong enough to move his new big boy bed. It was a good thing we had warm sunshine this morning, or else the mosquito horde would have stolen my son away, or left him as a withered husk.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Make new plans, and think twice about the old?
When you make new friends you can keep the old.
Hotel reservations are not always the same way, even though we may feel attached to them like an old friend.
This week Mike and I made plans to head the Autism Conference of MN. AUSM has and awesome conference, dealing with a lot of timely issues for us. Like starting Galen's transition into adulthood and some behavior/emotional things we are dealing with with Clayton.
We have also just spent 2 weeks at the Mayo with Clay and Ian. Clay was ran through a series of Psyc tests and Ian just had his normal button change and yearly update visit.
Our family is also moving forward on a extended (like lots of family) family trip to Disney World this fall.
And naturally , not only do our financial budgets not allow us to do it all, but our emotional and personal energy budgets not allow us to do it all.
It is kind of a bummer though, as I have given up a plan for a trip that feels a lot like and old friend. In December we decided to go to Nauvoo, ILL (a very nice church historical site) and hang around there for several days after we saw the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the Twin Cities. The plan seemed to work and was very affordable.
I love Nauvoo, I spend a whole semester there studying church history in college and have always wanted to take my children back there. I have yet to see that Temple, that I just knew would be rebuilt, and thought it would mesh real nice with the study of Church History and and Doctrine and Covenants this year.
But, alas, one can not do everything at once. Not only will I be about 35 weeks pregnant, but I will also have just finished school semester and a lot of traveling (for me) this spring. Then of course, we will have the baby this summer and then 6 weeks later head off to Florida. There is just not time and energy (or money) for everything.
Like wise, during the time frame of the trip to FL, there was an opening in a midwifery class that I have been interested in. My SIL (also an aspiring midwife) is planning on going and asked me if I was too, but the new baby puts a fairly big crimp on educational plans, which is one reason why we are going to FL this year rather then next year. Next year, I plan to be taking lab classes again, because my aspiration to midwife will continue.... (I plan to become a Dr Midwife (hold a Doctorate in midwifery).... and someday I will go to the Farm and take their course, because I believe they hold lots of good information that med school does not offer, that I can then use in my work settings.
Yup, we can't do everything at once. The most important question for us is what is the most important thing to be doing now? (and then do as many of them as you can do well with your time and energy and budget constraints).
And for me, that is still Mother and Wifehood.... followed by my educational path.
I have learned that nothing brings as much happiness as my babies to me. Even when they start to grow up on you (le sigh). So I would rather have this baby now and love her up right. Life will provide time for me to do everything else it has in store for me.
Hotel reservations are not always the same way, even though we may feel attached to them like an old friend.
This week Mike and I made plans to head the Autism Conference of MN. AUSM has and awesome conference, dealing with a lot of timely issues for us. Like starting Galen's transition into adulthood and some behavior/emotional things we are dealing with with Clayton.
We have also just spent 2 weeks at the Mayo with Clay and Ian. Clay was ran through a series of Psyc tests and Ian just had his normal button change and yearly update visit.
Our family is also moving forward on a extended (like lots of family) family trip to Disney World this fall.
And naturally , not only do our financial budgets not allow us to do it all, but our emotional and personal energy budgets not allow us to do it all.
It is kind of a bummer though, as I have given up a plan for a trip that feels a lot like and old friend. In December we decided to go to Nauvoo, ILL (a very nice church historical site) and hang around there for several days after we saw the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the Twin Cities. The plan seemed to work and was very affordable.
I love Nauvoo, I spend a whole semester there studying church history in college and have always wanted to take my children back there. I have yet to see that Temple, that I just knew would be rebuilt, and thought it would mesh real nice with the study of Church History and and Doctrine and Covenants this year.
But, alas, one can not do everything at once. Not only will I be about 35 weeks pregnant, but I will also have just finished school semester and a lot of traveling (for me) this spring. Then of course, we will have the baby this summer and then 6 weeks later head off to Florida. There is just not time and energy (or money) for everything.
Like wise, during the time frame of the trip to FL, there was an opening in a midwifery class that I have been interested in. My SIL (also an aspiring midwife) is planning on going and asked me if I was too, but the new baby puts a fairly big crimp on educational plans, which is one reason why we are going to FL this year rather then next year. Next year, I plan to be taking lab classes again, because my aspiration to midwife will continue.... (I plan to become a Dr Midwife (hold a Doctorate in midwifery).... and someday I will go to the Farm and take their course, because I believe they hold lots of good information that med school does not offer, that I can then use in my work settings.
Yup, we can't do everything at once. The most important question for us is what is the most important thing to be doing now? (and then do as many of them as you can do well with your time and energy and budget constraints).
And for me, that is still Mother and Wifehood.... followed by my educational path.
I have learned that nothing brings as much happiness as my babies to me. Even when they start to grow up on you (le sigh). So I would rather have this baby now and love her up right. Life will provide time for me to do everything else it has in store for me.
Saturday, September 01, 2012
Blame my husband.
If my face is bruised and battered
Blame my husband.
For last night was a camp out in our yard
for cub scouts
And Roo had liked the tent.
Mike said "Take him with you."
The troubles with a tent, is not only can he crawl and fall on you
but he can get a running start to do so.
So if my face is bruised and battered
and my glasses sit all kitty-wompus
and I want to nap instead of work.
Blame my husband.
Blame my husband.
For last night was a camp out in our yard
for cub scouts
And Roo had liked the tent.
Mike said "Take him with you."
The troubles with a tent, is not only can he crawl and fall on you
but he can get a running start to do so.
So if my face is bruised and battered
and my glasses sit all kitty-wompus
and I want to nap instead of work.
Blame my husband.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Top 10 Reasons to Give my a Scholarship for Midwifery Studies
10. So more woman can be guided through childbirth.
9. So more babies can enter the world in harmony and love.
8. So my own dreams are realized.
7. So I can show my kids that it is never too late to go back to school.
6. So my kids can have shoes.
5. So my parents' financial planners get off my back about earning enough money.
4. So I have a good excuse why I don't have my dishes done and my floor mopped.
3. So my curiosity will be satisfied, a least for a bit.
2. So I can lead the way in advances in well woman care.
1. Because I was born to be a midwife.
9. So more babies can enter the world in harmony and love.
8. So my own dreams are realized.
7. So I can show my kids that it is never too late to go back to school.
6. So my kids can have shoes.
5. So my parents' financial planners get off my back about earning enough money.
4. So I have a good excuse why I don't have my dishes done and my floor mopped.
3. So my curiosity will be satisfied, a least for a bit.
2. So I can lead the way in advances in well woman care.
1. Because I was born to be a midwife.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
the archetype of mothering as transformation
"When a mother thinks about her experience in a truthful way, when she is
honest with herself, she will see that the act of mothering is not
one-sided. It is reciprocal. Once we appreciate that the mother/child
dyad is mutually beneficial, we can change the stereotype of motherhood
as burden into the archetype of mothering as transformation."
-Peggy O'mara (Mothering Magazine)
link to article http://mothering.com/peggyomara/inpirational/the-powerful-woman-as-mother
-Peggy O'mara (Mothering Magazine)
link to article http://mothering.com/peggyomara/inpirational/the-powerful-woman-as-mother
Sunday, March 20, 2011
and wearing an outfit that 3 of his brothers wore.Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Eagle has Landed
After trying some evening primrose oils- labor started on Saturday at 4cm. I labored slowly but surely the day away, was able to keep busy with light house work and stuff. Mom took the kids to the local garage sale and lunch and then kept them until bedtime.
At bedtime I slept 1/2 hr until contractions got too strong to sleep through. Then I got up and labored in the bathroom until 4am when I got lonely and turned the lights on and threw open the door. That brought Mike in to labor with me. We listened to music, talked a little and dealt with labor. In a few hours Mom came and got the kids and made them Star Wars pancakes.
Meanwhile I was getting emotionally drained. I couldn't tell if I was making any progress, and my water didn't want to break. At 3pm ish Mike announced he finished some of his school work, so I said good and started packing to go the the hospital. I had had enough and was going to get this over with one way or another.
Mom and Dad passed the kids off to Ryan and Amber and came and drove us down. We called first and the Dr had ordered an ultrasound to do when we got there. But the nurse was able to guarantee to the Doc the the baby was head down and that I was 7-8cm. I was satisfied, I had actually made real progress and just had to get through transition. There was real question about whether the water had broken. I was unsure, the nurse thought probably.
I turned down offers of pain meds, IVs and saline locks. I knew I could get through transition and birth without it. - And it would be much better for baby with out it.
So I labored for another hour or two and everyone was surprised that the baby wasn't born yet. Labor got harder and the doc came in to check me, he said I was 9 to easily 10, being extra stretchy and noticed that water had not broken yet. So he broke it and asked me to push to see if it would do anything or if I would need a c - section. The push in the position of sitting up made me want to swear at the doctor. The doc decided to leave me and go downstairs to see about a c- section. He thought the baby would be too big. Meanwhile, the nurse was trying to get me to lay back to check the baby's heartbeat, but I yelled "I got to move" and got one leg off of the bed before I groaned, screamed and pushed the baby out in 30 seconds. I didn't plan on doing it- I just had to.
The baby was caught by the hospital bed- and I yelled for someone to take him. He was still half inside me and I couldn't push any more. So the nurse finally grabbed the baby and I was able to sit back, much relieved. They rubbed my tummy and got my placenta out. The doc came in and was much surprised and relieved. He did a quick check and announced to rips or tears.
Everyone was thrilled. He was a big boy, weighed in at 10 pounds, 15 oz. 22.5"
And we were both still happy and intact.
In retrospect, all I needed was an experienced midwife and the home birth would have come off perfect- but those are hard to find in my neck of the woods, and as far as hospital births it was the best we could hope for.
Of course, because the hospital bed was so short and narrow and not padded enough- I was thrilled to go home in 24 hours- against the hopes of the hospital and staff.
If hospitals really wanted to keep you there longer- they would have big, soft beds, and Charmin toilet paper- and food that is fresh, whole grain and organic :)
Meanwhile my 5 kids and a husband with 2 term papers to write needed me at home.
At bedtime I slept 1/2 hr until contractions got too strong to sleep through. Then I got up and labored in the bathroom until 4am when I got lonely and turned the lights on and threw open the door. That brought Mike in to labor with me. We listened to music, talked a little and dealt with labor. In a few hours Mom came and got the kids and made them Star Wars pancakes.
Meanwhile I was getting emotionally drained. I couldn't tell if I was making any progress, and my water didn't want to break. At 3pm ish Mike announced he finished some of his school work, so I said good and started packing to go the the hospital. I had had enough and was going to get this over with one way or another.
Mom and Dad passed the kids off to Ryan and Amber and came and drove us down. We called first and the Dr had ordered an ultrasound to do when we got there. But the nurse was able to guarantee to the Doc the the baby was head down and that I was 7-8cm. I was satisfied, I had actually made real progress and just had to get through transition. There was real question about whether the water had broken. I was unsure, the nurse thought probably.
I turned down offers of pain meds, IVs and saline locks. I knew I could get through transition and birth without it. - And it would be much better for baby with out it.
So I labored for another hour or two and everyone was surprised that the baby wasn't born yet. Labor got harder and the doc came in to check me, he said I was 9 to easily 10, being extra stretchy and noticed that water had not broken yet. So he broke it and asked me to push to see if it would do anything or if I would need a c - section. The push in the position of sitting up made me want to swear at the doctor. The doc decided to leave me and go downstairs to see about a c- section. He thought the baby would be too big. Meanwhile, the nurse was trying to get me to lay back to check the baby's heartbeat, but I yelled "I got to move" and got one leg off of the bed before I groaned, screamed and pushed the baby out in 30 seconds. I didn't plan on doing it- I just had to.
The baby was caught by the hospital bed- and I yelled for someone to take him. He was still half inside me and I couldn't push any more. So the nurse finally grabbed the baby and I was able to sit back, much relieved. They rubbed my tummy and got my placenta out. The doc came in and was much surprised and relieved. He did a quick check and announced to rips or tears.
Everyone was thrilled. He was a big boy, weighed in at 10 pounds, 15 oz. 22.5"
And we were both still happy and intact.
In retrospect, all I needed was an experienced midwife and the home birth would have come off perfect- but those are hard to find in my neck of the woods, and as far as hospital births it was the best we could hope for.
Of course, because the hospital bed was so short and narrow and not padded enough- I was thrilled to go home in 24 hours- against the hopes of the hospital and staff.
If hospitals really wanted to keep you there longer- they would have big, soft beds, and Charmin toilet paper- and food that is fresh, whole grain and organic :)
Meanwhile my 5 kids and a husband with 2 term papers to write needed me at home.
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