When I Aced my A & P

When I Aced my A & P (with apologies to the author of “The Cremation of Sam McGee)

Strange things are done in the midday sun by students preparing their labs

they read the directions to start the dissections and then tentatively give it a stab.

These fluorescent lights have seen queer sights

But the queerest they ever did see

t’was that day in the lab, fetal pig on the slab,

When I aced my A & P

The formaldehyde will cause tears in your eyes and snot drip from your nose

you will try to breath, but the smell will cleave and stick to your hair and clothes

as you cut the pig it burns and stings and you think that you may faint

but there are structures to learn, it’s nearly time to adjourn, so you wont give no complaint

Cardiovascular system, veins and arteries I missed them as I cut my pig right through.

Pull the pericardium apart, so you can see the heart, the vena cava has a bluish hue.

Things I was supposed to get a good look at disappeared beneath my blade;  

“You mean I needed to know that?” I vowed to be more careful with the cuts I made.

The heart was out, and the lungs were flung, the brachial arteries exposed

The renal, gonadal, iliac and femoral, and the kidney sat juxtaposed.

Submandibular we found the salivary gland, and the epiglottis and the esophagus

Followed stomach rugae, the duodenum assayed, and we searched for the urogenital orifice.

From the external nares to the microvillii hairs, I felt I knew my pig well enough

Don’t have to worry about spelling, which is quite compelling,  Can the quiz be really that tough?

25 names of structures, Kay Rezanka would instruct us and then point to it we would.

So we hope and pray to make no guesses today, and see if our studying would make good.

Thyroid gland was found, a brownish mound, at the brachiocephalic junction.

Found the liver lobes, and then I took my probe and pointed to the bladder of urinary function.

10 more to go, I was on a roll, getting every one correct

I was doing so well, my hope began to swell until the one structure I did not suspect.

My head hung in shame, for I had forgotten the name of the structure that was before me.

So I sat there and stared, sifting through my memories in err, but the answer was not to be.

I thought it out logically, compared it homologically,  naming everything else I saw

I winced and I cried, brought a tear to my eye, this item was my one flaw.

Then I looked at my pig, tied and rigged , with the skin peeled from its face

Until I saw it’s eyes, in their baby size, staring back at me from space.

As the eyes stared at me they seemed say “I understand why you are doing this.

but I just wanted to say, since I have your attention today, here’s the ductus arteriosus that you missed.”

My brain was wracked, for I had cracked, but now I could scrape by

A glimmer I saw, and I was in awe, as a light beam, hit my eye,

Above the heart, just beyond the start, was the pulmonary trunk’s little connection

to the aortic arch, my mouth became parched, as I quickly made my selection.

Strange things are done in the midday sun by students preparing their labs

they read the directions to start the dissections and then tentatively give it a stab.

These fluorescent lights have seen queer sights

But the queerest they ever did see

t’was that day in the lab, fetal pig on the slab,

When I aced my A & P