Monday, March 27, 2006

A blog down Memory Lane

A few days ago while packing up some books I came cross a cook book the my Mother in Law gave to me. It was your classic collection of recipes done from her side of the family. And a recipe in there called "Lucile's Good things" caught me attention. I recognized it as a childhood favorite called "Hay stacks"

Now those of you who remember Mrs. Z and her haystacks are oohing and awing. So in her memory I bought the materials and made some haystacks with the kids. And I found the missing key- letting the marshmallow get hot enough to melt and blend in the Carmel.

The recipe made so many of these wonderful hay stacks that we quickly declared our mistake and vowed to invite all the cousins together next time we make them :) And then send them all home.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

the voice of God

I got in the car tonight at a quarter to seven, and there I hear the voice of God, or at least a voice as familiar, gentle and down to earth as God's voice would be. Garrison Keillor was preparing to end Prairie Home Companion and I knew if I ever casted the voice of God in a movie or audio show that it would be Garrison Keillor.

Imagine if you will, Garrison Keillor speaking with Moses:

Keillor: Moses, Moses
Moses: Here I am
Keillor: Take you shoes off Moses, you stand on holy ground.
Moses: Holy Ground God?
Keillor: Yes Moses, Holy Ground, I just swept
Moses: Sure God, Shall I remove my feed hat too?
Keillor: If it makes you more comfortable Moses. I have heard the crys of my people Moses. In fact some of them are quite loud. They claim they have been hit a few times and are oppressed.
Moses: Ok God, what do you want me to do about it?
Keillor: I want you to go down and invite them all to come with you to a land flowing with milk, honey and powder milk biscuits.
Moses: You want me to bring them to Lake Wobegon God?
Keillor: Hey, If they are my people they should draw nigh unto me.
Moses: Ok God
Keillor: Moses, I will send you unto Pharaoh.
Moses: Who am I that I should go unto Pharaoh?
Keillor: I shall be with you Moses. Just turn on your radio.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Anniverseries can be punny things

Today I had a 10 o'clock meeting out of the house. So I left, but nobody was there, and therefore being our anniversary I took the time to stop at the floral shop for some flowers, but ended up with a bunch of bad puns instead.

When I got home I brought Mike a little bag with a ribbon the note said "Has it bean 8 years since we became love birds?" and inside the bag was some jelly beans and a pair of love birds. That was sweet but not enough to distract him from his games.

Then I brought him another bag, tied with a ribbon. The note said "You are egg-actley what I need. And are always there to brighten my day with your smiles." Inside that bag was some butter cream eggs and chocolate smiley faces.

By the third bag, I actually had his attention. He turned away from the game and read the card: "May we always forgive each others four-paws quickly and become cuddle bunnies once again." inside the bag was a cat (what better symbol for fau paus?) and a cuddle bunny.

He thought we were done, but lo, I brought him the flowers in the case with the card "May your tulips always touch mine. May ours speak in tenderness towards each other. May the happy joys of babies breath caress our cheeks from our progenitors for eternities to come. " I'm pretty sure you can guess what kind of flowers I bought.

And lastly the closing note said "May our love burn brightly forever, wrapped in one eternal WoW!
P.S. Life's a piece of cake when we carrot for each other." As you can guess there was a candle and then I had to make a carrot cake tonight.

Mike says he owes me a nice dinner out. So I told him I had a baby sitter for next week!

Friday, March 17, 2006


My sister has a very different and varied selection of friends. So she always has interesting points of view and lifestyles to chat about. Recently several of her friends recommended a book entitled "Getting It On" As I understand it it is about sex and sex techniques for those who need more to do in the bedroom.

I used this occasion to conclude that "Some people have sex. Others reproduce as nature intended. "

Having been married 8 years tomorrow and having 4 children in that time frame, I feel as if I am too busy dealing with the repercussions of sex to worry about more things to do in the bedroom. If the strange chance actually occurs where we can spend some time alone together (and falling asleep in front of the TV does not count) then we have to get to it right away and have no time to waste before the children A) wake up B) burn the house down or C) the neighbors call the cops because the kids are obviously not being watched.

What is also strange is that this conversation about My sister's new book (it is actually on loan to her from a friend) and a newsletter from 7th Generation products about the release of their new 100% organic tampons happened upon the same day.

What most interested me about the new tampons is that I was not interested. Tampons are not a major part of my life. In fact monthly cycles are not a regular part of my life. I have not had regular cycles in 8 years. And I do not miss it. ( I have been pregnant or nursing the whole time, averaging maby 1 real cycle between babies). Historically "that time of the month" is something to fear talking about. My husband just agrees that it is something to fear.

But when one looks at what life was like before birth control, one can almost surmise that regular cycles did not happen with married women. Let's look at a "typical" life of a women 1000 years ago.
1) birth-1st menses about 13 years
2)1st menses- time to get married off
3)marriage = sex =pregnancy=baby=nursing=no cycles until time to get pregnant again.
4) this happened over and over until menopause and thus the end of fertility.
wahlaw! very few cycles and many children. And therefore when menses did occur it was rare and maybe worthy of a little curiosity or time with out all the little children. and babies coexsisted for millions of years until birth control- it's a good thing some thing had to make up for the lack of chocolate. :)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

The world is backwards

My cousin in Southern California reported 2 feet of snow at her house this weekend. We here in Minnesota report 60 degree high yesterday.

I feel sorry for the weathermen. Everything they learned in school about usual and normals and averages no longer seem to apply. However, there is more weather watching with weird things happening, so if they were any good at actually predicting the weather they will be needed.

Meanwhile, personally I have bridged a new gap and took empathy to a much higher level then I ever imagined possible. I have always had dreams to see snippets of my future. Now my dreams see snippets of other people's future (through their eyes and body). I have just noticed this happening this year. It is incredible when then you are there (the thing I dreamed is happening) and you know how they feel, what is going on and what you can do about it.

Thursday, March 09, 2006


Remember some of those macabre stories about a parent systematically murdering his or her children? And how they repulsed and fascinated you at the same time?

I think I can begin to empathize with them. They fascinate us because they were pushed to cross an invisible line we try our hardest to stay far away from. They fascinate us because we know if it wasn't for the little bit of wisdom or self control that we could have joined them in fame and horror.

Boy am I glad I am not them, boy am I glad for that restraining hand of wisdom, self control and eternal fear of damnation.

ok, now you are all wondering "what did they do?"

they punched a bunch of holes in the dry wall of 2 rooms. Then they poured liquid wax all over 2 beds.

See, now aren't you glad they aren't in throttling distance?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


The problem with working with green people is that they tend to live in different time zones, and then to boot there office doesn't open up until 9-CA time, which means I have to wait until lunch break to call them. Or on the reverse they open at 8 MA time and then I can't call them past lunch because they've gone home. That is why I like email.

Friday, March 03, 2006

giving and selling of body parts

Today a headline said the Bush is signing a deal to sell arms to India- and I thought:

Selling arms has never help create peace,
But giving people a hand always does.

so the moral of the story is to give hands, but never sell arms.


a mass grave has been found that seems to prove the theory of genocide. It seems that small appliances have been killed off by the thousands or was it some kind of viral epidemic that wiped them out?

in the last week we have been forced to replace 2 of our small appliances and have a replacement waiting in the wings for the third. The good news is we successfully installed a programmable thermostat and I quite like it. The bad news is I have never seen a blender last for more then 6 months. It looks like investing in a commercial grade blender might be the way to go. Can I get one with a 20 year warranty?

And then it seems as someone has been brutishly murdering our video cassettes this week. This masked killer seems to be the infamous "not me". However if he strikes again all people shall feel the wrath of mom.