Friday, December 24, 2010

I returned all the toys,
I threw away all the candy,
I recycled the ribbons
and called them quiet handy

(need a picture of some children tied and gagged with Christmas ribbon)

I was tired of the noise,
the cries for new toys,
the living room hip deep in
debris from the boys

the cute little girl in tutus galore
is using my coat to mop up the floor

my boots have been pooped on, blame the small pup
who was not brought out soon enough, after he supped

but the thing that really gets me, today of all days
was getting my car stuck in the driveway
and why this peeved me beyond all exception
is that i had requested it be shoveled
by the boys, no exemption!

but alas, they did not do any of the chores I required
to earn the dear the toys their hearts have desired

and when Christmas comes tomorrow, yipee!
they will run to their stocking, and what will they see?

nothing but socks, half a dozen pairs per kid
and the whining will start, and they will flip their lid
even though we warned them, and often had said
that kid who do no chores, get pairs of socks instead.

so unless your feet are ridiculously cold
you better shut, listen and so as you're told.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dear Elementary School Principal,

It was so nice of you to send us a certified letter reminding us that it is our job to try to keep our autistic 12 year old going to school everyday.

Apparently you have not talked with his teachers, para or advisers yet as to the efforts we have gone through in dragging him to school kicking and screaming, or to the joy we have at home when we can't even get him through the door and then he spends all day screaming while hiding underneath the kitchen table.

As we do tend to the parental duties of feeding and caring for our 12 year old, he is now officially bigger then most adults, weighing in at 175 pounds and is 5'8" in height, and because we have no desire of becoming physically incapacitated, we have therefore given up the tactic that we have used for years to get him into your school of picking him up and carrying him while he is throwing his tantrum.

We have, of course, tried the traditional bribing of our son with toys, gifts, cash or video game time to get him to be willing to attend school. When we find something that peaks his interest enough he does consent to go until it is time for him to leave then house. At that point he takes on the same look as a deer in the headlights and clings to anything he can so that he can not be made to vacate our premises.

Yes, we would be thrilled to work with you and your school team to get him out of our house everyday. My ears, toddler and puppy would be ever so grateful. In that regard I have been requesting appointent times with the school psychologist, and autism specialist, along with his normal team of teachers, and specialists.

You are more then welcome to join our meetings and look forward to any constructive advice you may have.

Have a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. As to us here we will focus on getting through the changes in schedules with as few tantrums as possible.

Sincerely,
Tired Mom

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

snarky comments ahead

This story was emailed me today. My comments are in red.

A Christmas Story
Christmas time always seems to have its share of hustle and bustle. Between the shopping got that done early via internet, kept it simple, parties yeah, enough of those, extra cooking, not really, as I basically cook everything from scratch anyways cleaning and decorating I gave up on this category the year my children stomped all the Christmas ornaments in November, there doesn't seem to be enough time for the really important things that should accompany the holidays uh make time for it. Last year was especially hectic. I was working part_time in addition to being a mommy of five children sounds normal. I was serving in the Young Women's Presidency and had a lot of responsibilities there. My husband had gone back to school to further his degree yup we are there too, so money was really tight when isn't it?. Our five children were in need of a lot of things that year, but of course, their Christmas "wish lists" weren’t full of necessities. They were full of wants nobody wants mittens or a sweater unless they have gone without. I was really struggling with how I was going to make THIS Christmas "as good" as previous years obviously she has never had an autistic child to completely ruins her holidays. We focus on surviving the changes in schedules. In other words, how was I going to fulfill all of their Christmas wishes don't even try, bake homemade gifts for all the neighbors and fami1y this year I am passing out unbaked mixes, and make sure my home looked like it was taken out of Martha Stewart's magazine? hum, let's revisited stomped ornaments and broken Christmas trees and ripped up presents, pretty is just not a priority around here. I just wasn't sure if I could do it all this year. I'm not sure if I can do it all with out most of the things on your list. In other words I would feel a complete disconnect with you right now and stop reading, but I'm having to much fun being snarky because I am ornery at the stubbornness of the men and young men in my life right now so I will continue to add my comments to what is set up to otherwise be a touching story.

I said as much to my visiting Teachers when they came for their visit early in December. I had almost canceled our appointment that morning, thinking that it was just "one more thing" to fit into my busy day. It was a relief, however, to be able to share my frustrations with them, to know that I wasn't alone. We visited, and they shared a wonderful message about the Savior. It was the little boost I needed for the day. I needed something more to sustain me through the rest of the holidays, however. As these dear, faithful friends were leaving, Carolyn gave me a small gift. She told me that I couldn't open it until Christmas day, so I put it under the tree. It looked a little bit lonely there, as I hadn't had time to wrap any other gifts yet. Wow it stayed there and wasn't destroyed instantly?
Sundays and church were always uplifting, that's because you are not stuck in nursery alone repeating the same lesson for the third time but through the week those feelings of peace would quickly dissipate as the stress of the season came back. On the thirteenth day of December, however, we received a surprise. After dinner, there was a little knock on the door. When my daughter, Stephanie, went to answer the door, there was no one there. A few minutes later, the same thing happened. This time my son James opened the door. His eyes must have been a little sharper, though, because he found the little gift wrapped in white tissue paper lying on the doorstep. Taped to the simple package was a note that read, "To the Dawsons on the First Day of Christmas." My children were delighted. We had done the 12 days of Christmas for other families before, but we had never been the recipient of the fun. James quickly opened the package and out tumbled a little sheep. It was only a few inches high, but we gave it an important place on our mantle. baaa
The next night, a little shepherd boy appeared wrapped up on our doorstep, followed by the three wise men the following three nights. We quickly understood that this was a Nativity set that we were being given. Every night, my family would gather around to see which of the Nativity figurines we would receive and add to our mantle. James and his two younger brothers would stand guard at the window every evening trying to "catch" the culprits, but they never did. The days ticked down to Christmas Eve and we had received every figure for our Nativity set except for the little baby Jesus. As we shared our evening together, reading the story of the Savior’s birth from the scriptures and singing hymns I wish my kids would sing, they would rather hide under the kitchen table and Christmas carols, the anticipation of the imminent arrival of the baby Jesus grew. We couldn't wait for him to come.
Somehow, that small reminder we had received every day on our doorstep helped to turn our hearts around to the real meaning of Christmas. I had noticed the children had been kinder to each other and had been more willing to help out without so much grumbling and complaining. And now, there was no talk of what Santa was going to bring we gave up on santa years ago. The talk was "Where was Jesus?" James checked the doorstep every few minutes, but nothing. It was getting late, almost time for bed, and Jesus still wasn't there. Finally, bedtime could wait no longer, and my husband and I tried to explain to the children that perhaps the family who had been delivering the gifts had gone out of town for Christmas or was busy with their own family. That didn't seem to pacify the children. As I tucked my 3 year old daughter into bed, with tears in her eyes she said, "We can't have Christmas without Jesus." I had to fight back my own tears as I kissed her goodnight and wished her a Merry Christmas.
The next morning was chaos, of course, with everyone opening their gifts and showing what they had received. As the gift giving died down, I went into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Stephanie called me back in with "Mom, there's another gift for you." I went back to the tree and found the little gift from my visiting teacher. I had completely forgotten about it as it had been pushed to the very back of the tree as more and more presents were added. I opened the gift and just stared. There, wrapped in a little note, was the little figure of baby Jesus. The note said, "I was here all the time."
No other gift I received that year meant more to me than the anticipation my family and I felt every evening as we waited for Jesus to arrive, and then the peace we received realizing that He was always there with or without all the other Christmas chaos.

world's hardest career

No doubt about it. The hardest career any woman has ever embarked upon is that of motherhood.

It's a career that not only keeps you up at night thinking about it, but then also gets you up a night to change a wet bed and diaper.

It's a career whose office hours are relentless and whose prep work demands every spare second.

It's a career in what daily success is found in feeding, clothing and caring for those who do not want to eat what you made, or wear what is necessary to be warm, or cared for in any loving manor except when you are on the phone or on the toilet, or maybe if you are truly lucky, taking a hot bath.

It's a career in whose efforts often go un-noticed or are completely undervalued. But yet is so desperately needed that "time off" consists of changing 1 necessary activity for another. Like sitting down and reading bed time stories rather then changing yet another load of laundry.

OSHA has no say in the working conditions. It can be too loud, and no one has to offer ear plug. It can be unsanitary and yet the biohazard suits are unavailable. There aer routinly things to trip on in the walkways, and when ever those are picked up there are slick spots of spilled juice or milk.

and since the house is quiet, and the Christmas cookies are out of the oven, I am going back to take a nap, since I changed a bed and a child at 4 am, and went potty at least 5 times while I was supposed to have been sleeping.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

girly movies

I have to admit that having a little girl is forcing me to take a whole new look at the "girly" movies. for the first time in this house we are actually putting the movies with female heroines instead of the action packed boys' movies.

I do like the change of not having to have constant action, but then I look at what kind of a role model these female heroines are portraying and some of them make me shudder.

The Little Mermaid tops my list of shudder producing. As a young teenage girl, I thought it was the perfect fairy tale, but as an adult ***shudder****. In that movie Ariel is a spoiled teenager who has some unrealistic dreams, not based at all on knowledge, and she puts her father's kingdom at risk to achieve her dreams. And in the end she gets what she wanted for no other reason then her father couldn''t stop spoiling her. Ariel is sweet and innocent, but offers no moral behaviors to emulate.

I find this same quandary with Jazmin in Aladdin and Sleeping Beauty, more spoiled princesses gets what they want, in return for almost nothing.


I do not mind Mulan, as she is out to save her father and family honor and ends up saving all of China, and she doesn't act like a spoiled brat. Belle in Beauty and the Beast isn't too bad either, she has dreams, but is obviously well read, and saving her father is what introduces her to her future love.

My favorite "girly" movies though are some of the older classics. Cinderella is a lovely role model. She works hard, is modest, and only puts herself forward with the pushing of her fairy God mother. I also like Snow White, she is helpful and sweet and tolerates all challenges put upon her.

I haven't watched the 2 latest fairy tales put out by Disney. I have no idea what they portray the heroine as, but you can bet it will be linked to how often I let them get watched around here.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

while up past midnight, munching ruebens

I don't think that I will ever be able to eat a Reuben again without my husband accusing me that I'm pregnant.

With ian it was toasted almond fudge ice cream. With Galen it was anything that was available to eat (reminds me of him now). Ewan's pregnancy consisted of perfectly balanced meals, and
Shanny had me not eating much but plain yogurt mixed with applesauce (not pleasant, but it was the only thing I could stomach). I don't recall anything particular about what I ate in Clay's pregnancy.

It really feels in many ways as if the baby takes a hold of your body and refuses to give it back for a couple years. And aat that time he only relents his hold on you because you have been overtaken by another being-that you are incapable of separating with for the first 9 months.

I was kinda hoping to have this be a longer, more insightful post... maybe i will come back and revise it when i think of more to say.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Baby Blue

do you know why they call it baby blue? because every single piece of baby boy clothes is in that color.

Mom went shopping down at our favorite kid store in Rochester and brought me back baby blue clothing. A whole wardrobe of baby blue baby clothing. The materials, brand, and size varied slightly, but the color not 1 measurement on the chromometer.

In fact when you start checking website for upscale baby clothes, baby blue is almost 100% guaranteed color to find baby clothes in. All the layettes seem to be baby blue.

I think i am beginning to understand one reason i really wanted a girl. Pink, purple and more pinks, with a touch of orange, green or yellow, sounds way more exciting then baby blue. True, you can find a fair assortment of baby pink out there- but at least there is variation in the shades and the ability to add ruffles and laces.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

halloween grinch

Ever feel like a Grinch?
I have a holiday I hate the most.
It is halloween. Why should any one go around dressed up as something they are not just to beg for candy?

I hate people giving kids (My kids especially) anything that is full of sugar and artificial colors and flavors. I am also no fan of anything gruesome. But if you really want gruesome you should have been with us last night.

We went to our church's halloween party- it was a chili cookoff (ie all the chilis you can eat) and then unlimited sweets for kids with some nice crafty activities.

the gruesomeness came in when my dear 5 year, who had a lot of sweets at school, ate someone's chili and chips and lots of candy and then started running around. He also started barfing. He barfed 3 times before he told me- all over the floors. And whole he was barfing he was still trying to eat another cupcake.

I am kinda surprised there wasn't more kids barfing by bedtime. but as any good parents we took the candy away.

one amazing thing to me is how much people are willing to spend on the opportunity to go begging door to door for candy. they can spend an unlimited amount on costumes, candy, bags, and gas that night. I also read the kids are something like 10 times more likely to be in a traffic accident on Halloween then any other day of the year.

Halloween is supposed to be scary and tricky and dark. Imitating evil spirits and all sorts of gore.

Yup so call me a grinch. i just don't get why anyone would want the halloween spirit in their lives. At least christmas is suposed to be joyful adn sharing.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wish lists

For those who have the desire to give us gifts this holiday (and birthday) season here is a wish list/guide to help you make your decisions. For those who feel obligated, but have no desire, please just send us a card with your family picture. We will treat your family photo as a gift and maybe even get it on the wall :)

Me:
set of 12 cloth napkins- blue would be nice color
set of glass storage containers for food
small vacuum with ability to vacuum all sorts of small crevices that brooms just can't do
a storage shed for bikes and trailers and stuff
cast iron 2 burner skillet- for eternal pancake making
a nice sheet cake pan (wore a hole in my last one)
a set of nice hot pads
long leg warmers- preferably wool, but cotton blend will work (they don't make long johns in maternity talls)
things inside my house done- like bathrooms, green house walls, and shelving and all sorts of small painting projects and little details
baby sitting certificates are always nice :)

Mike:
new fancy computer screen- call for details, it has to work with his new graphic card
a gift card to LLBean (he found lots of good work clothes there that he likes)
a nice church sweater in XXLtall
king size allergy bedding set- already ordered
dress socks
nuts, and other semi healthy snack foods

Galen:
I am trying to stay away from toys, as he is turning 12..... but he does love legos sets and bionicles and hero factory.
Size is adult large- pants are currenty at 36x30- shoes are size 12
Tan colored dress socks in full adult size.
Starwars books- jengofett stories
Star wars tie and white shirt
Items to inspire young priesthood holders
art set/ markers, paper ect
mp3 player charger cube
he will also be entering into boy scouts- so some good gear would be welcome

Ewan:
loves to build, create, draw
Size is 12
Slightly used jeans are his favorite. He keeps putting holes in the knees.
likes science experiments- tornadoes, earthquakes, volcanoes and other natural disasters.
art set (got markers and stuff...still need paper/easel)
needs a lock box to store personal items in
mp3 player charger cube

Ian:
loves to ask questions about computers. Maybe a technical manual or two
a hand held game system for potty time
build your own robot set
simple hand tools
Size 8/10
basic experimental toys like marble runs or erector sets

Clayton:
very cuddly, likes to watch movies
needs active toys- things to climb on, through, or jump from
floor gym mat
story time with adults
any 1 on 1 time with caring adults
likes toys of all varieties
wears size 6- really likes to wear camo
playdough sets

Shannon:
she is ready for building blocks- please someone get her building blocks- so she'll leave my frozen sticks of butter alone :)
wears a size 4- likes tutus and very fancy pink dresses
likes hair barrets
she is ready for color books and washable crayons
enjoys playing playdough or with real dough

Baby Boy:
needs a crib- used (as long it is very sturdy) is fine, we have a mattress
also could use a portacrib with a changing table top for the downstairs- already got
some clothing. He will probably never fit into newborn size- and usually will wear at least double his age in size (ie at 6 months he will wear 12m) I am missing some basics like baby socks and onsies, and prefer organic when possible. Right now he still needs pjs in 12m, and clothes larger then 12m.

Those are my ideas for now :) hope it helps with your holiday planing

Sunday, October 17, 2010

a crop of boys

My peer group is older then me. I went to college early, got married early, had kids early and now find that most of the people with children the ages of my older ones are close to 40. That doesn't scare me, except for the fact that they are all pretty sure they are done having children. They keep telling it would be best if I stopped by 35.

I have to admit, I can not argue with that advice. Even though I can handle a nursery of 6 toddlers single handedly week in and week out, that 36 is too many, even for me.

That being said, I am nowhere near 36, not even close to 10. 100 years ago 6 was just a beginning, and to get 5 of those to be strong, strapping boys would be seen as a bonus. 5 big, strong young men to help milk cows, plow fields and haul hay.

Maybe my DH and I have a destiny as farmers. And according to a fair amount of my favorite blogs that farming for ourselves and our local communities might be the best way to survive the coming future.

Besides a crop of boys, what else should I be planting on our 2 archer suburban plot?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

ultrasounds or weird dreams

well that weird dream where I was told I had 6 legs kicking me was just a weird dream. I only have 2 legs kicking me.

This fact, established by ultrasound today clearly simplifies things. I have 1 very big baby boy kicking me. So when I felt I was wall to wall baby- I was right, but instead of it being 2 little squirts it is 1 big squirt. One big squirt who is almost twice the size of the 2 little squirts would be. It might be another Galen.

This means I only have to worry about 1 crib, and not have to worry about a car big enough for the whole family (yet). As the minivan we have will suffice until we try again for our girl.

And it also means that worrying about birth control is also no longer necessary- which we were really considering if we ended up with multiples. It makes the whole birth plan and concerns over preemie babies disappear.

Everything will be easier with just 1 at a time- although I did get rid of all my boy clothes- assuming Clay was our last. Oh well, at least I get to shop for something :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Food Count 2

The last 24 hours I've eaten: (reverse order)

11 am 1/2cup bbq potato chips
7am 1 banana, 2 oz chicken
11 pm 1 cup yogurt
1/2 c corn chips, 1/2 c milk
7pm 2 slices garlic bread
2 ww buns
6 oz chicken
carrot sticks
grapes
6pm 6 sugar waffers
2pm 1 cup icecream
4 pm 2 scrambled eggs with cheese, ww bagel with jelly, apple
12pm baked potato with chili and saurkraut and cheese

Total Servings:
Fruits and Veggies: 7
Protein: 5
Calcium: 4
Whole Grains: 5 (yes the corn chips are wholegrain)
fats: 7
Refined Sugars: 2

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The magic unveiling

This week we take that first fateful peek inside my growing abdomen. What will we find there?

I had 2 ultrasounds in a row that produced shock. And then finally one that produced awwwe.
It took a lot of work to get my Shannon.

I have to admit that I am a little apprehensive this time. We know this is not a "normal" pregnancy. I have had 5.5 normal pregnancies and this is not one of them. We know we have healthy fetal heart tones. We have strong suspicions that we are expecting more then 1, which would explain all the unusualness of this pregnancy.

Other then that there are several other reasons why things could be different. I could have the wrong due date (which I know is not the case). I could have excess amniotic fluids- which would not be a good thing. I could have a cyst or a growth, I could just be "prestretched" - not! (Galen stretched me first thing, and I know how big I normally am at different stages of pregnancy. Usually I am just beginning to wear maternity clothes at 20 weeks, not growing out of them.)

Well anyways, You can bet we will be posting news here of what we find out this week. But you will have to wait until Thursday, for that is the day we peek.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

food count

I am just curious what I am eating in a day. So I will track the last 24 hours.

yesterday 7:30 pm - 6oz steak, 1/2cup green beans, 1/2 baked potato, 2 cups salad, 1 roll.
8pm- oatmeal cookie
10pm - more green beans, potaotes
12 am- 1 cup yogurt
3 am- oatmeal cookies with peanut butter on it
7am- banana, cookie, yogurt
12pm- sandwich, ham and cheese on whole wheat, grapefruit, salad
2pm- ham and cheese with out bread, 1/2 cup walnuts
4pm- 1/2 potato, few bites of steak
5:30 pm- 1 cup Brussels sprouts, 1 cup brown rice, 2 cups stir fry
6:30 pm- 1 cup yogurt.

so how many serving of what?
protiens: 7-8 servings
calcium: 4 servings
fruits and veggies: 10-11
grains: 8-9
high fats: 4

Monday, October 04, 2010

well I am pretty sure I heard at least 2 baby heartbeats the other day- at the same time, but on different rhythms. And then in a dream I was told I had 6 legs kicking me.

Of course all this leaves me with questions the internet can not answer for me, no matter who much I research twins or triplets, I can not learn how it will go for me. Will my babies be born early or will they wait for 39 weeks? Will I be put on bed rest? I will need to find a nicu? and how to arrange the house and schedule to work with 2 or 3 babies at once?

I have dreamed of 2 of these babies. I have seen Arwen as a baby and as a young women. She has red hair. (Mike said he knew it). And then earlier of I dreamed of a boy with blond hair and long legs. I also saw him both as a boy and as a baby (in different dreams).

I haven't clearly dreamed of a third, that I can remember. I think it would be a girl though, but am not sure. Eowyn is what I would call her.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Triple Blessed

I feel very blessed today.

I live a life where when I crave something- generally all I have to do is make it or run to the store for the 1 or 2 ingredents I am missing adn then I can make it. It doesn't matter much what I crave, there is always an easy way to get it- whether it is cheesecake or bowwow.

I also live a life where the information I desire lies at my fingertips (on any non-personal items, but a lot of others' personal items).

I also live in a house that is largely designed to heat itself and keep its self fairly clean, so when I have days that I don't feel blessed enough to do anything but sleep- I can choose to without falling too far behind.

I feel blessed to live in an age of washing machines, farmer's markets and fetal dopplers.

I feel blessed to have parents that dote on me, so I have the time to dote on my children.

I feel blessed to have the ability to store the food and clothes that we will need in the near future. (which reminds me of more chores to do)

But mostly I feel blessed to have bowwow, bananas and fresh picked broccoli to eat today.

Life is good.

Life is great.

I feel blessed to have the cutest kids on earth. I feel blessed to be challenged by their differences and special needs. I feel blessed to have time to read to them, cuddle them, adore them and be surprised and marveled by them.

I feel blessed to have a husband who is working hard to support us and grow his own capacity to love, serve and support us. I feel blessed to have a husband who is good at bed sport, and still looks at my naked, pregnant body, as if it's s sight for sore eyes.

I feel blessed to have a body that is capable of carrying babies, growing them 40 weeks and them pushing them out easily- and them nursing them for the next 2 years.

I feel blessed to have temperate weather so my windows are still open. I feel blessed to hear the noises of kids playing outside and the sunshine still warming my skin.

I feel blessed for my awesome life at this awesome time.

I know things will change, more challenges will come, and I feel blessed to be able to prepare for some of those changes.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You know pregnancy this time around just feels tougher. I've been blaming it on being in my mid (gasp) 30s. Joke about letting the 20-somethings have the responsibility, to bare the children. (I popped out 4 in my twenties and all of them combined was easier then Shannon and this new one).

But actually I figure there is something going on. Having twins would explain the extra burden it seems like I'm carrying. And that seems like the best possibility to to cultivate on the matter.

I sleep enough to be pregnant with 2, sometimes I eat enough to be pregnant with 2. I'm big enough to be pregnant with 2, my digestive system is weird enough (probably squished) to be expecting 2.

This is where my thoughts end on the subject right not, and my brain shuts down if I sit down for more then a minute.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Morning Missionaries

Ever heard the joke about the Elder who got confused and said to the lady when she opened her door; "Good Mormon, I'm a morning missionary?"

Traditionally, my response would have been "I'm sorry, but I don't do mornings."

That being said, I have now been up at 6:30 two mornings in a row making a nice breakfast for the family. I blame it on the baby. When the baby is hungry, I gotta eat- and so I might as well make enough for everyone.

Of course the opposite and equal reaction to this effect is that I want to be left utterly and completely alone by 10pm and then end up eating a midnight snack ( halfway through brushing my teeth). My kids don't like it when I lock the doors and take a long bath at 10 pm. They all seem to think that Mommy doesn't deserve time off and that help getting dressed can only happen by one certified by the Mommy Board.

So even though I tried to stay in the bathtub until all were asleep, they refused to go asleep until I could all help them with their issues. And I truly think when it comes to it that being a morning person is truely dependant on the amount (and quality) of sleep one gets the night before.

That being said, I am enchanted by the stories of Amish farm wives who get their houses scrubbed, have laundry on the line, and then manage to have a baby, all before noon. I am enchanted by the stories of how carfully they care for thier land and thier families and how life and all the decisions on which technology to use is based on how it will influence family life. Here we seem to base those decisions on trial and error rather then thinking them out before hand.

We have said no to TV (although we watch a lot of DVDs), and we say no to video games, but yes to a washer and dryer. We wash an average of 10 loads of sheets per week around here and without those tools this house would stink due to some special medical issues.

In many ways I want to become more like the Amish. I want to learn to take care of my stuff carefully, to be connected with my land, to have everything neat and tidy and look forward to the work of everyday items as the breath of life.

Many of these changes are very hard coming from a society in which we are taught to throw away and buy new on credit or the economy will crash and you will loose your jobs. But the change, no matter how hard is not only good for us, but probably essential.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Baby talk

Oh was I hungry this morning! I woke up at 5 am with the desire to eat, but ignored it as long as I could, but 7 am I was out of bed scrambling eggs and toast.

This baby has been a bit picky- very much so about what I eat and when and has popped out of my belly at an alarming rate. I outgrew my bra size by week 6- the first time in 12 years I have changed bra sizes. The last time it happened I was pregnant with Galen. I went at that point from a nice pleasant 36 C to a huge 38 DD, and I have stayed at the 38DD every since- through 5 more pregnancies... this going up again was a bit of a shock.

And then my belly has been poofing out at alarming speed, but 8 weeks I was out of my regular clothes and into stretchy... but 11 weeks I was wearing full maternity clothes (this usually doesn't happen until around 20 weeks), These changes and a few interesting dreams have made us kinda wonder if we might be expecting more then 1.

In an early dream we were asked to adopt a boy by the church. So we went and picked him up and he was stranger until the second I took him into my arms and held him to me- then he was mine. The message of that dream was clear: that we would be having another boy. The adoption was on a spiritual level. The boy was planning to go to another family, but they decided they were done with having children and now he needed new parents. I cried at this because I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt to turn down a spirit that you know and love just because you had forgotten about it and decided against for "Economic" reasons.

Then just a few nights ago I dreamed that my brother had twins and named them "Ketchup and Chutney." Chutney was the child we know as Nahni and Ketchup was that same boy from the first dream. And when I saw him I said "I know you." and he replied back. I can't remember the words he said- but it was in the affirmative.

Since we are kinda planning this to be our last pregnancy, I am personally imagining 1 boy and 1 girl, since we are still missing our Arwen.

Only 1 thing is for certain though, there is something(s) in my belly that kicks and has a strong heartbeat at 165. The rest we will find out next month at the ultrasound.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

night densities

How come it takes until morning before you realize that 1 little Tylenol would have let you sleep all night?

Do we really become that dense when we are trying to sleep that we don't realize the reason the baby isn't sleeping is because she isn't feeling well.

After her tossing and turning on top of me all night I finally got her off to sleep this morning. And of , course like every good pregnant mom who has had no sleep the night before, I am going off to bed too.

Friday, August 20, 2010

it's offical, I'll post it

ok, for those of you who don't already know, I am challenging my sister and having a baby #6 of my own.

She is due in March, hates chocolate, doesn't care for sweets (except ice cream) and has done a good job puffing my belly out already. So much so that I have already washed most of my maternity clothes to wear.

Other then that I am my normal pregnant self: sick, tired, nauseous, hungry, ornery, tired, nauseous, ect. Last week, my husband plugged my cell phone in and I asked him where it was about 6 times in a row before I remembered. (and I thought my mom was funny when she couldn't remember if she was wearing her glasses) sigh.

ok, I think I'll go take a nap again.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

8 weeks

8 weeks is a magic number today. There should be a little heart beating, little hands and feet and lots of other things in progress.

Monday, June 28, 2010

On Grumpy Old Men

"I think though that they see things through all their experiences and have a harder time seeing things in other peoples perspectives.. and also do not always comprehend all the issues in same way. The younger people do.."

By a Grumpy Old Woman

Saturday, June 12, 2010

current reading:

Proverbs
The Millennial Messiah By Bruce R McConkie
The Duggars: 20 and Counting By Michelle Duggar
The Gift of Dyslexia by Ronald D Davis
Crossing The Rubicon by Michael C Ruppert
Confronting Collapse by Michael C Ruppert
At the Gates of Darkness by Raymond E Fiest

I just think it is an interesting collection of things to be reading at one time

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Sigh

justa few minutes ago I told the kids in loud whispers not to enter Shanny's room, It wakes her up. So then, after putting Shanny to sleep, I came downstairs and a minute later hear her scream. "Who went into Shanny's room?" I yell.
"Clay did." said Galen.
Clay comes down the stairs
"Clay, going into Shanny's room is a big no, no, no..., no, no. no no-no."
"Mom, you don't have to repeat yourself." he said.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The will of the people

I realized today that when people refuse to follow rules (written and unwritten) that they become ungovernable.... and cause their governments to fail. Of course governments can fail for other reasons then their populous' behavior- (usually the two are intermingled) but the behavior of their populous will decide if another government can form or is doomed.

Monday, May 24, 2010

my psalm of the day

the time of overthrowing Babylon has begun
vengeance must be taken on those who caused the widows and orphans to cry
on those who rape that natural world for their profits
on those who care more about their power then God's

Let those who scorn God's law
tremble when the earth quakes
let them fall to the ground in fear when the lightening strikes
let them huddle in their caves as the waves wash over them
and the hail stones fall from heaven like boiling water
And fires shall devourer them

Let those in Holy places stand tall while the earth shakes
praise God in wonder as the thunder booms
pray hand and hand before the waves
be sheltered in the palm of His hand
and let His fire purify their hearts into gold.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

dream

I had an interesting dream this morning. I was going to look at a house I was buying- only now it was in bad condition- the floors were all kitty-wompas, and everything was in disrepair. Only then - when I told my dad that I am glad I didn't buy this house yet. He said it was a good thing I had built the narc. My mom didn't seem to see the house- but she liked the people in it and offered to cook us lunch of oscar meyer hotdogs and set us in with mindless entertainment. That it when I noticed that it was kinda like an old folks home and it assumed I was staying. (I call this the American Zombie Institution- for people who like being trapped by advertisers and refuse to see climate change and collapse issues)

Then I fled. I got out of that house and into masses of big spacious buildings- lots of big catholic church type buildings- and throw other people's wedding- I was being chased- so I started to fly. But then my Shannon was left behind. And I couldn't fly holding her- I had to settle for long leap and slow decents. We excaped down some woods and then ended up in a museum type building. It looked interesting, but would just be distracting me from my goal of freedom- so I didn't listen to lectures of look at the exhibits (much). Then from behind me came a voice. "Help me remove this tag. They stuck it on me when they let me in here days ago." It was Galen. I removed his tag and asked him if he knew how to fly. He said he didn't, so I tried to teach him.

I knew that if we could just get to the true church's property we'd be safe.

Then I woke up and wondered if our spirits are used to flying- not having enough matter to hold then down with gravity... and then we get a body and are held down with the weight of it. Is that why we always dream of flying?

Monday, April 12, 2010

Six degrees- 1 degree

I am on strike this week (as mom). SO instead of washing their clothing (that they refuse to bring down to the laundry room) or cooking their dinner (that they refuse to wash up after) I will be spending more time blogging, and this week's topic is a chapter by chapter summery of the book "Six Degrees" by Mark Lynas.

Today's Chapter is 1 degree. What would happen were the average global temperature of the planet rose 1 degree?

Massive droughts in California, the great plains and other "breadbasket" areas, change in global climate patterns. Loss of coral reefs, ice free artic, monsoons in Africa, loss of glaciers and glacial drinking waters, drastic changes in weather patterns, mountains held together by permafrost melting and flowing down, extinction of Pikas (small furry baby bunny like mammals),

"Hurricanes...only occur in the North Atlantic tropics. Not a single South Atlantic hurricane has ever been documented- that is, before March 2004... may of those who suffered, because they had also refused to believe that hurricanes were possible in Brazil, had neglected to take shelter as the storm barreled towards shore."

Tropical storms to graze mainland Europe, increase in strength of hurricanes (about double)

Basically, we have seen all/are seeing this already... our planet has already warmed 1 degree. What we have seen is just the beginning.

more on chapter one coming

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bathroom inspiration!

I got inspiration in how to decorate my new bathrooms!

For our downstairs bath I want to do a "Garden at Fablehaven" Theme. We will have fairies, flowers and hummingbirds. This is the piece that inspired me. Fairy Toilet paper holder.

For the masterbath upstairs- I want to do a country cottage theme- using easily found items and ribbons. The colors are peach, burgundy and cream. (first stop here is to find the right ribbon and get some hot melt glue)

For the boy's bath- I want to play it straight. There will be a dark wood shelf against the empty wall at 6 feet height? with hooks underneath it and baskets for each of the boys on top. I will hang a long mirror, and then some framed picture over the toilet.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

when you are still enough to he

M E R I D I A N M A G A Z I N E
In Chile: The Lord’s Earthquake Warning
By Sister Lisa Laycock

Editor’s Note: President Larry Laycock and his wife, Sister Lisa Laycock head the Santiago Chile East Mission and had spent the two weeks prior to the 8.8 earthquake visiting each missionary apartment and preparing them for an earthquake. They brought specific instructions on what to do, supplied water purification bottles for the missionaries, told them how to create a 36-hour kit for emergencies and how to stay in communication should an earthquake strike. They prayed with each missionary and dedicated their apartments. Why? Because of a special experience that alerted them to what was coming. They told their missionaries, “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”
They have 171 full-time proselyting missionaries in this mission.
Special thanks to the Laycocks for allowing Meridian to publish this letter that Sister Laycock sent to her family shortly after the earthquake sharing their remarkable experience of kindness from the Lord. They are in Chile with their son, Landon.
The picture of the missionaries on the cover and in this article were taken at a March 1st gathering. These are post-earthquake smiling faces.

Dear Everyone,
I am writing to let you all know how very grateful we are for your prayers, concern, and love. Please keep praying! We need the Lord's help and guidance in order to do all He would have us do to learn what He would have us learn from this earth quake tragedy, and to minister in the way He would have us minister.
During the past few days, we have witnessed many events which serve to remind us that the Lord is in charge and that as missionaries and members of His church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are performing His work, and as President Monson teaches, "When we are on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to His help." I want to share with you a few miracles that will help you to understand our profound feelings of gratitude.
When we were set apart for this calling, Elder Scott of the Council of the Twelve Apostles taught us many important lessons. He spoke from personal experience when he was a mission president in Argentina. One message that he shared with us is this: "At times, during your mission, you will be awakened in the middle of the night or the early morning hours with thoughts of specific things you should do for certain missionaries. Do not ignore these thoughts. They are promptings from the Holy Ghost who will communicate with you in the stillness of the night or the peace of the early morning hours. He will speak to you then because that is when you are still enough to hear."
Elder Scott further instructed us to keep a notebook beside our bed so that we could record these precious promptings. He said that by the next morning, we would be likely to forget the promptings if we didn't write them down.
We have been astonished at the fulfillment of Elder Scott's prophetic words. We have received many promptings in the exact manner that Elder Scott described. We are so thankful that Elder Scott taught us how to recognize and act upon these precious promptings. Had he not taught us, we may not have given these promptings the attention they require.
Nearly two-and-one-half weeks ago, I was awakened at around 4:00 AM by just such a prompting. I did not hear a voice, but the thought was as clear as if it had been in the form of spoken words: "There is going to be an earthquake. Prepare your missionaries." I sat up in bed and immediately remembered Elder Scott's counsel. That morning I told Larry what had happened. He immediately set to work organizing our missionaries to prepare for an earthquake.
In talking with our office missionaries to arrange for them to put together a list of everything we would need to prepare...in both Spanish and English...we discovered that the Lord had also let two of our office missionaries know of the possibility of an earthquake (in the form of dreams) and the need to prepare our mission.


We set a goal and arranged our schedule so that we could visit every apartment in the mission to check for safety and to review with our missionaries what to do in case of an earth quake. What a wonderful experience we have had as we have met with them and shared scriptures with them about being spiritually and physically prepared. "...if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear" (D&C 38:30).
We instructed every missionary to have a "go-bag" (36 hour kit). We reviewed our emergency action plan with them of where to go and what to do if they had phone service and in case they did not. We gave everyone a paper with all instructions in English and Spanish, and we reminded them that "this life is the time to prepare to meet God" (Alma 34:32-34). We shared with them our thoughts and feelings about the need for spiritual and physical safety.
Some of them became frightened and asked us if we knew something they didn't know. We smiled and repeated "...if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." We didn't want to unduly alarm them, but we did want to impress upon them the need to be prepared. We tearfully reminded them of our recent transfer conference where we had shared our feelings about our dear Elder McKay Burrows who was unexpectedly called home in January while serving his mission in Romania...how he was prepared in every way to meet God. We reissued our challenge to "be prepared" in every way. Then we knelt with them in their apartment and dedicated each apartment, asking for a blessing of safety and security to be upon every apartment.
When the earthquake came, we were prepared. We did not experience the panic that many felt. We knew we were prepared. Because of the words of the Lord's chosen Apostle, Elder Scott, we had listened and heeded the quiet, but clear promptings of the Holy Ghost. We were blessed with peace in the midst of chaos. We learned an important lesson: our preparation helped us to avoid panic and fear, but the Lord, in His wisdom, allowed us to experience enough discomfort to know that He has all power. He is in charge. We are nothing without Him. We are dependent upon Him for every breath we take. Only He can save us from death and destruction. He is the way, the truth, and the life. He is our perfect example. If we follow Him, we will be saved through obedience to the laws and ordinances of His Gospel.
As the earthquake became more violent, the mission home groaned and wailed. The power died, so the whole city was black. The windows made a hideous screeching sound, and flying objects banged against swaying walls. The printer/fax machine, books, book ends, and fifty-pound television burst from the entertainment center and crashed to the floor, cabinets emptied, drawers flew open, the refrigerator moved, water sloshed out of the toilets, the floor jolted up and down as we ran across it trying to hold onto the walls to keep from falling down, and the piano toppled over like a small toy. As we made our way to the back yard, I remember thinking, "God is all-powerful. He is our only refuge from this horrible mess." I prayed and prayed for Him to still the earth.
When we reached the back yard, we watched in terror. By the light of the moon we could see the swimming pool water form giant waves and crash out onto the rocks. House and car alarms screamed into the night...some from being crushed by falling debris and others, I guess, from the bizarre movement of the earth. I am not sure if the intense rumbling sounds came from the earth itself or from everything else that was shaking so violently. Finally, it stopped.
When the calm came, we had to sit down because our legs were weak and unstable. My legs stayed wobbly all day and night yesterday. Today the muscles in my legs hurt like I ran a marathon. The aftershocks have been extremely unsettling. Each one begins like the one last night started. We just close our eyes and wait to see if it escalates or dies down. .I have never experienced anything like this!
We were awakened this morning by a very strong after shock. Larry jumped out of bed and yelled, "Welcome to another glorious day in Chile!" We just had to laugh. We moved a mattress into the floor in our bedroom and made Landon sleep in our room. He was in his room with the door locked the night before and we couldn't wake him up. He never locks his door, but he was playing a joke on Larry because every morning Larry wakes him at 5:30 AM for seminary by tickling him unmercifully. So Landon had decided to stop him.
When we couldn't open his door, in the middle of the quake, we thought he was trapped, so we screamed and banged. Landon thought that everything was falling off the walls because we were banging so hard on the door. I think we scared him more than the earthquake did!
Today, we attended a strong ward where Larry was invited to speak. The entire chapel and beyond was filled. People were so humble and so teachable. Larry taught the importance of doing the small things. He taught about Jesus Christ and the opportunity we have to love one another and to share what we have with others.
It was a great blessing for us to be with these beautiful Chilean people. Some have lost their homes...or at least parts of their homes. But they are strong and they want to serve the Lord. He taught of the scripture in Luke 21:11,13 which says, "and great earthquakes shall be in divers places...and it shall turn to you for a testimony." He also welcomed the sweet young woman who was in the congregation with the missionaries...her first time attending church...and then he invited her to be baptized from the pulpit. He asked her to please invite us to her baptism, and she said, "I will." The Lord always knows what His people need.
Landon was reading in Alma 15:17 today. He said, Mom listen to this. This is what is happening here in Chile just like in happened in Ammonihah. The people were humbled and "checked as to the pride of their hearts and began to humble themselves before God, watching and praying continually that they might be delivered from Satan, and from death, and from destruction."


Our hearts are filled to the brim with gratitude for all of the blessings we have received in the Chile Santiago East Mission. We see miracles every day. In the midst of great pain and suffering, we can always find our Savior. He stands with His arms open, pleading for all of us to humble ourselves and come unto Him. He loves us. He invites us to accept His gift...the atonement. He invites us to repent. He wants us to love one another and to serve one another. He wants us to bring our families and those we love to Him. We can do it. We can do all that He asks, no matter how difficult it may seem. "With God all things are possible"
We are having a devotional tomorrow for all of our missionaries to talk about the last week of Christ's life in preparation for Easter. We want to remind our missionaries to teach and preach with increased vigor of Christ. Last Monday in our office meeting, Larry suddenly stopped in the middle, and said, "During the prayer, I had a very strong impression that March 2010 is going to be our best baptizing month we have ever had in this mission."
Now we know why he received that feeling. We are going to prepare to bring many souls to the waters of baptism in March. Please continue to pray for us and for the people of Chile. Please pray for the missionaries to have strength and courage to do all that is being required of them, even in difficult times.
We are so thankful that the tsunami did not turn out badly in Hawaii. Who would ever think that an earthquake in Chile could threaten the shores of Hawaii? Thankfully, the Lord is in charge. He is the one to whom we must turn for refuge from every storm. He has the power to save us.
Editor’s Note:
The letter ends here, but President and Sister Laycock told us:
“We’ve never experienced anything like the earthquake. We have had 90 aftershocks, some stronger than others. Our legs are wobbly. It is a scary feeling to experience an aftershock because it brings back all the feelings we had during the earthquake.
“We love being with our missionaries. Because they were prepared, they were immediately able to turn their attention to helping others. They were never concerned about themselves. They were concerned with those who need help and by mid-morning the day of the earthquake, we were able to dispatch them to help others. We told them to investigate the needs of their neighbors and help in any way they could.
President Laycock noted, “The Spanish translation of Luke 21:13 says that there will be earthquakes in many places, and it will give you the occasion to bear testimony. We met with 10 sisters this morning, and one of them mentioned a neighbor next door whom they always asked if she would have time to speak with them, and she always said no. Yet in the crescendo of the toll of the earthquake, she was speechless with fear and not prepared. When the sisters said, ‘Could we pray with you?’, she answered, ‘I have time to pray with you.’ It opened the door to a teaching opportunity to share the gospel.
President and Sister Laycock said, “Everyone we talk to has been so willing to talk about Christ and God’s power. We’ve been sharing God’s love with them. We are seeing God’s love everywhere. People are reaching out to one another. They are serving one another. The news reports looting. We are seeing a different side. We are seeing people who want to communicate with God, who are sincerely looking for the truth.”

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

How to be a girl


By my 20 month old....

Being a girl means:
-snuggling pink kitties
-wrapping dolls in pink blankets
-putting the wrapped doll and pink kitty in the stroller and pushing it around
-walking around in mommy's slippers
-then walking around in daddy's boots
-tromping around in my pink boots
-wearing pearls all day and all night (also during baths)
-wrapping daddy around my finger
-growling
-laughing
-using my stormy eyes
- trying on mommy's pink turtleneck
- adoring shoes, especially fancy ones
-twirling in dresses
-tolerating hair bows and extra ruffles
-talking on the phone
-hamming it up when the camera comes out

Saturday, February 13, 2010

We went to a valentine's dinner tonight- it was a fundraiser for RReal (non profit that helps install solar heating in energy poverty situations) the food as fabulous. There was also a wine tasting section. We, of course, put our glasses upside down and just enjoyed the incredible food- but as the wines were being described as to their "nose" and flavor (sweet, fruity, peppery with a hint of vanilla). I thought I ought to sniff it.

My nose is so good I can smell if some one used non-organic soap half a house away- in fact soon after we were married Mike put on some aftershave after showering and I couldn't stand being in the same room as him, which was kinda challenging because we only had a 1 room apartment- I sent him back in to shower again- this time with no smelly soaps or creams. So I sniffed my dad's.

Ekkk! My eyes crossed and I just about fell to floor. I have never smelled anything so revolting or nauseating in my life. How can anybody even imagine putting that stuff in their mouth? It was so smelly I don't know if I could even bring myself to strip furniture with it.(and I had just spent the day staining the floors on my new house- I know smelly!)

My brother said that must be a sign that it was a good wine. I have 5 kids- so I think I know a good wine- and that was not even in the same category.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

heaven or hell?

True, the energy/economic/oil/climate crises are upon us.
True, no matter what we do we will see the end of fresh oranges in Northern Minnesota, and we will stop using our cars for all but life saving events. There will be riots (at least initially) and some people will go hungry (at least until they learn how to grow their own foods), and all of our computers will be worth no more then paper weights. Basically the end of all things driven by oil is heading our direction fast.

It is going to/already has caused our economy to collapse and our beautiful debt based banking systems. It is going to end industrial agriculture and security checks at airports. Buses will no longer transport kids to and from schools and computers, solar panels, plastics, and really annoying plastic kid whistles will no longer be manufactured. It is the end of our over consumption. Excesses of stuff will no longer be made or clutter our living rooms.

The questions is will we let them ruin us? or Will we let this make us stronger and better?

Most of us already know that the trappings of our oil based economy is not good for our physical or mental health and yet we can't seem to break free of the debt, the garbage, the fast foods, the many hours sitting at computers interacting with "friends" that we never really see.

We have been given this amazing golden opportunity to power down now and live a simpler life where we physically move our bodies to grow our food, where we choose to band together as neighbors and share our garden's wealth. Where we have time to have a simple chat or a roll in the hay- because there is always work to do and the only true dead line is our own hunger.

Is this heaven?

Imagine waking up when the sun beams hit your face in the morning. You stoke your wood stove/fire pit/whatever you heat or cook on and you start water boiling. You use what you prepared yesterday for a quick and hearty breakfast before going outside to feed your chickens and weed your garden. In the afternoon you take the jellies you set up yesterday (made from the raspberries that your kids picked) and put them in a basket. Now you either ride your bike or walk to town and enjoying the fresh breeze and interesting wildlife in the process. Nothing on the road is going faster then you (if you bike). You manage to avoid the known potholes and make it to town, waving to every face you see over garden fences.

You enter the market square and set the jellies on a table to be sold, but one of the first people who comes up tells you about a family that is sick with the flu this week. You ask your neighboring table to watch/sell your jellies for you while you go and visit the family, first stopping at your sister's/mother's house enlisting their help and pantry. out of her pantry you select 2 jars of chicken soup, a nice load of crusty bread and some apples, and cheese. Your mother/sister adds a ribbon and a little homemade note telling them to get well soon.

You walk this over to the sick family and not only take the opportunity to drop off the goodies and note, but spend a while pumping and heating the water to bathe a few of the children and wash some dishes. After eating the soup, you see the color and some energy return to their cheeks, so you wish them a get well and go back to the market, where your jellies have sold. You spend some of that money to purchase some homemade cheese at another vendor's in the market (because that is the one thing you haven't got the hang of making your own yet) and set off for home.

By the time you get home the sun is starting to sink from the sky. You take the opportunity to prep for dinner, and then feed the chickens again and heat some more water for evening cleanings. As the sun sets dinner is ready and your mother/sister and her family comes over and enjoys it with you. You knit/sew/mend while holding a lively conversation and then the conversation ebbs and the music being played by the menfolk wash over you. Finally you kiss them goodnight and send them off with several jars of your jelly, while you - by candle light tuck your family into bed.

Or is it hell?

Your house is cold, your food is low and there is no water and no gas in the car to go get water from the creek- which doesn't matter because it is frozen over anyways. The trees near your house are gone. They have all been turned into fuel for heating and cooking. You ate your last bag of army rations anyways and are determined that your kids won't starve. You have a gun and ammo- but the there is no wild life left to shoot. There are rumors that some people down the road have been hoarding food and you think your gun and you can make a good argument for them to "share."

The town is mostly gone. There was a big fire that burnt it down last week after a fight over supplies at the hardware store went sour. Lots of people lost what they had, but you don't have enough of anything to share with them (unless a powerless big screen TV is what they want). So you leave your family in the care of the oldest kid. You tell him "You're the big man now, while I'm gone." And you head out by foot to the road. You see a few other people packing guns walking in the same direction. "I heard there was food this way." you say. They grunt in the affirmative. But when you arrive it is too late. It is clear that somebody beat you too it. A few corpses lie around the house. A woman, children, men. The door if off it's hinges, blowing in the wind.

The choice is yours. Will you prepare? Will you build a community? Will you share openly and help those in need? or will you allow yourself or others to become desperate and resort to un-civilization?

I plan to make it heaven. I plan to plant, prepare, build

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Why is it again?

Why is it that when you have something you'd like to say, by the time things have calmed down enough where you can sit down and type- the thoughts have completely fled your head and you are left with vague impressions of what it is you were so elegantly composing?

Why is it that when you work hard to make enough free time in your schedule (say to take a class you've been needing to finish your degree) that some kid related things comes along and fills the space? (say Galen's tummy reacting to school food so now you need to make enough foods to pack for breakfast and lunch everyday)

And that when you are finally saying a few things that make sense you're blue eyed, blond haired pill comes and sits on your lap and asks for a nursing?