I returned all the toys,
I threw away all the candy,
I recycled the ribbons
and called them quiet handy
(need a picture of some children tied and gagged with Christmas ribbon)
I was tired of the noise,
the cries for new toys,
the living room hip deep in
debris from the boys
the cute little girl in tutus galore
is using my coat to mop up the floor
my boots have been pooped on, blame the small pup
who was not brought out soon enough, after he supped
but the thing that really gets me, today of all days
was getting my car stuck in the driveway
and why this peeved me beyond all exception
is that i had requested it be shoveled
by the boys, no exemption!
but alas, they did not do any of the chores I required
to earn the dear the toys their hearts have desired
and when Christmas comes tomorrow, yipee!
they will run to their stocking, and what will they see?
nothing but socks, half a dozen pairs per kid
and the whining will start, and they will flip their lid
even though we warned them, and often had said
that kid who do no chores, get pairs of socks instead.
so unless your feet are ridiculously cold
you better shut, listen and so as you're told.