I haven't blogged as much recently. I think that is because I am learning when to keep my opinions to myself- and maybe even learning how to think less judgmentally about others. (maybe?)
I was just reading some of my old posts. I get snarky and ornery when I'm pregnant and sound almost as full of myself as the professional writers of opinion pieces around the internet. I think snarky is the way I try to channel ornery, so I am not so outright mean.
Of course most of my snarkiness comes when I am pregnant. And as I read it I wonder if I became that snarky in life too? Then I wonder what kind of amazing and tolerant spouse I must have to have managed to handle all 9 pregnancies with me. yup, we've been together almost 14 and of those 14 years I will have spent 4.5 years of it pregnant.
And another 9 years nursing. Luckily, the nursing hormones usually make the whole world lollipops and roses and sweet baby kisses... so that's not so bad for the dad, except that he has lost the ability to sleep in his own bed with just his wife (now it's often baby too) and has also lost a few play toys to the baby's oral fixation with nourishment.
I think part of the orneriness I get during pregnancy is an attempt to make space in my life for the time and armfullness of a baby. If nobody wants to be around me, then I can more easily take care of the baby, but when everyone thinks I need to do everything for them, then I don't have time or energy for a baby.
So poor Shannon, it is her turn to gain some independence. She just stomped out of here saying "I hate you." After I pulled her off of me when she not-so-nicely requested that I get her a pair of socks and in so doing leave the toddler alone in the bathtub. I told her I know she can get her own socks and therefore she should. What an evil mom I am.
If I understand why I am feeling ornery and snarky then it is much easier to be nice while I explain to my children that they can do it themselves and do not need me for every little thing. Of course, other times it is easier to just lock yourselves in your room and take a nap.