Rule No. 1: Take nothing a raging kid says personally. Really. Act like
a duck: let the words roll off your back like drops of water.
Rule No. 2: Don’t mirror the kid’s behavior. Take a deep breath. Wait
for the storm to pass, and then ask something along the lines of: “Are
you okay? Did something happen to you that’s bothering you? Do you want
to talk about it?”
It’s not that a kid gets off the hook for
bad behavior. “There have to be consequences,” explains Turner. Replace
punishment, which doesn’t work, with a system to give kids tools so that
they can learn how to recognize their reaction to stress and to control
it. “We need to teach the kids how to do something differently if we
want to see a different response.