Death of a person who lived a good long life does not anger me. It the promise of mortality, that it comes with an ending. It is bittersweet. For I miss my grandma dearly. My heart is drawn out in gratitude for that amazing woman and the life she has led. She was a great example.
The last couple years I often stopped on the way home from school. Sometimes she was out to lunch with her friends or playing cards, and she didn't want me. Other times I was able to sit and talk and show off my baby (#8). She loved to hold him when she was able. I was able to sweep her floor and do little acts of service, although it was never possible to do enough to fill the debt I felt to her.
I wasn't there when she passed. I should have visited her in the hospital before we left on vacation. It is a regret of mine, but she was happily surrounded by wonderful family, even without me. Motherhood of 8 gives you a unique perspective on individuals' involvement in your life. You learn to accept and love them when they are there, and to love whoever is around when they are not. There is always somebody who needs your love, and usually, they are the one in front of you.
But with her passing, I finally have an opportunity to serve her in an eternal way. Finally, there will be something I can do that will be as useful to her as she was to me. My mom and I can take her name to the Temple and do her ordinances and then seal her for time and eternity to her parents, her husband, and my dear aunt Katy. All of which were waiting for her and were there to welcome her to heaven in a big embrace.
No comments:
Post a Comment