dreaming of sandy beaches

Baby is growing, moving up my backbone and pushing into my stomach regions. That means heartburn. That means good by sleeping flat, that means eating less, even though I am hungry more. Babies are weird that way. At a time when you need to consume the most nutrients and calories they start to take away your ability to.

After that baby starts invading your lung space, until you swear there is no room left in you to breathe. Then one magical day, you and the baby get sick of the cramped corners and you push him out. And all of sudden, your systems all work again, you can breathe, you can eat, you can sleep with out heartburn, stand without support and only will only have to potty every few hours (instead of every few minutes).

I am up. Early on a Saturday because baby woke me up with the two things babies like to make you do most. 1. potty, 2. Eat.

Besides that, my house is quiet, and I can almost think for a few minutes. And those thoughts- as I look outside to the vast whiteness of snow. Leads me to think of a desire to lay on a warm sandy beach. And then go out to a nice restaurant for dinner and order whole steak dinner, but only manage to eat 2 bites of steak and 1/2 a potato. (but don't even dream of asking me to share the cheesecake).

There is 3 weeks until my warm sandy vacation. 3 more weeks of wearing winter coats (I am just hoping mine will still zip around my basketball belly as long as winter holds out). 3 more weeks of wishing we could just toss the kids outside to play. It snowed too deeply here at the beginning of winter and the little ones couldn't play outside in it because the snow was up to their chests, and then they scream their heads off when their boots come off in the middle of the vast snow plains- usually about 12 inches down.

Then the snow sits, and kinda melts into a 14" glacier that covers the landscape with ice, but not any ice, the kind of ice that purposely grabs your boots and then cuts your ankles when you try to pull your leg out of it's massive jaws. Then if you add to that the weeks of -30 weather and then those furious wind chills that cut through all solid surfaces to steal your body heat away.... one starts to understand the reason the children haven't played outside much this winter.

We have no snow men. Sticky is not a quality our snow has possessed, maybe in March some blizzard will bring a flock of new snow that will have the right qualities for building with. Then one of my precious pumpkins will make a snow man with an extra ball in front of the belly and call it "Mommy." I can see it now; a child comes dripping melting snow all the way into my office to say "You gotta come look mommy, I made a snow man of you." And then I will obligated to spend several minutes putting on I have to wear for winter- 8 layers of spring maternity jackets, because my winter coat no longer fits, and then waddle out on the compacted layers of ice and through the 14" of fresh fallen sticky snow to see the pregnant snow Mommy and her basketball shaped belly. I am not sure if it will amuse me or annoy me. I guess that we will have to wait and see.

Meanwhile I think it is time to go potty and to eat again. Anybody who thinks all babies do is eat, sleep and poop, just forgot that for months before baby that seems like all their mommy's do to.