Dilemas Solved

hi Y'all- you know I always do a lot of thinking while I'm cleaning and I think I've solved 2 problems tonight.

First problem: how to pay for the hospital bills for the birth of the kid?

Second Problem: ok, I know this sounds weird, but at the last birth we had at least 5 family members there to witness the birth and make bad jokes the whole labor through (now you know why I push my kids out after only 3 hours of labor, no matter how dialated I am or not) And last weekend when I was visting my Mom she was telling me how nice that was, and how much she would like to do it again, and this year my grandparents would also be around- and I thought "wow, that's going to be some crowded room, how do we keep this at all private?"

Anyways, tonight I realised, why keep it private. A birth is the most miraclous event many people ever witness. They are excited and uplifted by it for years to come- it gives them a great natural high. So anyways, I figured like many other rare lifetime events that selling tickets is the way to go. That would not only solve the problem of limited space, but also of the finacial expense of putting such a show on.

So I figure because the seating is limited that I would charge higher for those who get the 3 Chairs, and an amazing rate for the one who buys the ticket to hold the baby first. So here is my proposed pricing structure:

1 ticket at $1500. to the first who wants to hold the baby. This ticket also includes the most comfortable chair.
3 tickets at $800 for the other chairs.
4 tickets for standing room only at $250 each.

tickets do not include any meals or incedental expenses.

Do you think I can get my midwife to buy a ticket? or is she a member of the production?